Page 63 of Princess Claimed

“Fuck,” he says, putting his head back in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Tell me what happened.” I stroke the back of his head as he shakes it. “Do you want to be alone?”

He nods yes, but then no. “I just need a minute.”

Standing, I survey the room. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. The entire space is covered in soft, thick fabrics, furs, and carpets. Kicking off my high heels, I sink into the luxurious flooring. Soft lighting fills the space, but the actual lights are recessed, giving an effect that reminds me of that time of day just before the sun rises, when the sky is glowing but without an obvious light source.

My friend Ember can walk in the light. Jealousy flashes through me for a second, but it’s short lived. I don’t need the sun to be happy, and Ember’s gift makes her a target. I check out a large, soft bed, and then the other pieces of furniture, some solid beneath layers of fur, and some so soft, they must be filled with down.

Something glints near the head of the bed—handcuffs, also covered in fur.

It’s beyond obvious what this room is meant for. But sex is yet another thing Phil uses to shield his emotions.

“Come here,” he says softly. “I want to hold you.”

Relief washes through me. “Let’s sit over there.” I point to one of the soft, seating options, a massive, down-filled cushion.

Phil nods but keeps his gaze down as he moves over and drops into it, sinking and then shifting so that his upper back is supported against the wall.

I crawl onto it, planning to keep my distance, but he reaches to pull me to sit across his lap, bending his knees and enveloping me in his arms.

My fingers thread into the side of his hair, stroking for a while, hoping he’ll open up without my prodding. Part of me wants to thank him for stopping that presumptuous vampire—his intervention made me feel so protected, the way he came to my rescue gave me a thrill.

But I could have gotten away by myself, and what Phil did went too far. But he already knows that.

“I hate that you saw that,” he says. “I’m so ashamed.” His gaze flicks to mine, and I try to project understanding, compassion.

“I haven’t lost it like that since…” His deep voice trails off. “Since…”

“Since when?” I ask softly. “I know so little about you.”

“What you see is what you get.” One side of his mouth quirks up.

“That’s not true.” I shake my head. “I see through you, Phil. I see the pain under your anger, and I want to understand where it came from. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

He looks directly into my eyes, and they’re so full of anguish I fight not to gasp.

“I can’t.” He turns away. “You’ll hate me.”

“Not possible.” I stroke his cheek and draw his gaze back to mine. “Besides, we already established how much we hate each other. What’s the harm if our mutual hate grows?” Looking deep into his amber eyes, I can tell that he understands what I mean. His eyes flicker shut, and he hugs me more tightly.

“Fuck, Ana. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I’ll die if I lose you.”

I drag in a thready breath, and his eyes reopen. It’s the first time either one of us has used the actual word, and my chest feels like it might explode.

“I love you too. Nothing you tell me could change that.”

We sink into each other, and I can no longer see anything but his eyes. That’s enough. My whole world is housed there. Everything I need lives in Phil’s eyes.

I still long to talk to Selina and Ember, but not to hash through whether or not I’m in love. Instead, I want to share my joyful news. I’m in love. I love Phil and he loves me. Happiness goes off like fireworks in my chest.

But then I remember Phil’s pain.

I cup his cheek. “What were you like as a boy?” My little brother, Alexei, was the only young boy I ever knew well. Due to his hemophilia, he was so fragile, so pale and protected. “It’s hard to imagine you as a little boy. I bet you were sweet.”

“I was a monster.” He turns away from me.

“No.” The word is out of my mouth without thinking. “What do you mean?” I assumed his rage issues started much later, likely during his time at the Institute. I asked about his childhood, hoping to start this discussion during a more peaceful time of his life.

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