Page 52 of One Pucking Heart

“The organization is lucky to have you.”

She huffs out a laugh. Her long, manicured nails tap on the table. “Tell me about it.”

“I bet Beckett makes a lot of messes for you to clean up.”

She looks over her shoulder, and I follow her gaze to where Beckett stands with a beer in his hand. A group of women circle him, and whatever they’re saying must be hilarious because he’s laughed at least a dozen times since I got here.

Returning her attention to me, she shakes her head. “Actually, no. Beckett’s a great guy. He likes to party, but he’s respectful and keeps it together for the most part. He’s like a golden retriever. He’s cute, funny, and extremely friendly. He messes up sometimes, but it’s all little things, like a golden who chews on a shoe when he’s not supposed to. It’s never anything I can’t handle. Just like a golden retriever isn’t out there mauling off the leg of a little old lady, he’s not causing any serious damage.”

My eyes widen. “Well, that’s good. Are there guys that would cause damage? They all seem sweet.”

Her lips press into a line, and she inhales through her nose. She quirks a brow. “Have you met Gunner Dreven?”

“Yeah, he’s quiet and grumpy, but he seems pretty harmless.”

“He has a temper, and when you’re as big as he is with a short fuse, it’s never good.”

“Yikes. Well, okay, I didn’t realize that.”

She raises her shoulders. “I’ve kept him out of trouble, but the potential is there. I swear, he alone is a full-time job.”

“Do you mind if I share an opinion?” Her eyes narrow.

“Um… sure.” I shrug.

“I never pictured someone like you and someone like Beckett together. I’m happy for you, of course. I don’t mean it negatively at all. It’s just an odd pairing.”

I chuckle. “Well, you’re not wrong. We are an odd pairing.”

I keep it at that. While sometimes a little too serious, the woman sitting across from me has been very nice. She’s welcomed me into the organization and has been very helpful. But I’m not ready to open up about the complexities of the relationship between my faux husband and me.

And now that my father is no longer with us, my soon-to-be ex-faux husband.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to say hi to the guys.” I slide out from the hard booth seat.

As I approach Beckett, it starts to really sink in.

My father is gone. All of this can be over.

Halting my approach, I take in the scene. All these twentysomethings—drinking, laughing, and celebrating their victory—fill the bar. I have no desire to be among them. Not that I’m not proud of the guys or enjoy their company, but I’m tired. I want to be in my jammies, at home, bingeing the Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time. I don’t want to be doing shots from someone’s belly button.

Bash smiles, shot glass in his mouth. The woman lying across the bar pulls her Cranes jersey back down, sits up, and raises her hands in the air. Those who surround her cheer along. Taking the shot glass from his mouth, he tips it toward the girl and gives her a wink.

Anxiety fills my chest. If I’m here too much longer, I’ll witness Beckett taking shots from women’s belly buttons, and that’s not something I want to see.

I don’t belong here. Put me in a locker room with my med bag and some sprained muscles or in a sound box with a crying teen who thinks he chopped his finger off. Those I can handle without a second thought. Navigating the team celebrating in a bar with liquor and puck bunnies—I cannot.

Beckett still hasn’t seen me, and I’m relieved. I’m overwhelmed with the thoughts running through my head and need time to process them. Staring at that beautiful man is something I will never grow tired of. There’s no question that Beckett is gorgeous. He simply is. Beyond that, though, he’s kind, caring, and so very loving. I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit that he’s also sexy as hell. The way in which our bodies come together is so incredible, books should be written about it. But marriage is a lifetime commitment, and its entire foundation can’t just be good sex.

Beckett did me a favor and gave up so much to marry me and ensure I received my inheritance. Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean I should hold him to our Vegas vows for the rest of his life. And I don’t know… maybe he doesn’t want me to.

He seems happy, and I can’t deny I’ve been happier than I ever remember being. However, just because we turned an awkward situation into something great doesn’t mean we’re bound to it forever. We haven’t spoken about the end of this arrangement. It was easier to live in and enjoy the moments as they passed. Now, we have to address it. He promised me a fake marriage. He didn’t promise me forever, and even if he had, I can’t say I’d take it. We’re two different people in vastly different stages of our lives.

There’s no doubt I’ll miss him terribly. I’ve grown comfortable with him in my life. But we both knew this had an expiration date, and I don’t see a reason to prolong the inevitable.

A female fan wraps her arms around Beckett’s middle and leans into him as her friend holds up a cell phone and takes a picture.

Yeah, I don’t belong here.

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