Page 53 of One Pucking Heart

I shouldn’t mourn for someone I never had, for something that was never meant to be. I sneak out of the bar as quietly as I came in.

It was always going to end.

I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

BECKETT

Cade nudges my shoulder. “I’m sure it’s fine, man. I wouldn’t worry.”

My knee continues to bounce, and I ignore him. It’s better than telling him everything that I will if I open my mouth. A plane full of my teammates and the Cranes staff isn’t the place to announce my fake marriage.

But he’s wrong.

It’s so far from fine.

When Jaden showed up at the bar complaining about the fuss that Elena had made over his knee, I knew she’d be along any minute. When an hour had passed and she hadn’t shown, I texted her to check in. I wasn’t all that worried at that point. I figured she had gone back to the room to crash. She had admitted to being exhausted earlier. When another hour and several more unanswered texts went by, I left the bar to head back to our room, fully expecting to find her sound asleep in the bed.

But that’s not what I found.

I found a note stating she took a commercial flight home to take care of some things.

These “things” she has to take care of are bad news. Of course they are. If it were something positive, she would’ve answered my texts instead of leaving a handwritten note for me to find hours later. When it was too late to do or say anything to talk her out of whatever she’s up to.

Though I don’t want to admit it, I already know.

I already fucking know.

Her father’s gone, and she’s leaving me. I feel it down in my soul. I’m not a panicky person, and I don’t freak out about much, but I’m suffocating on this plane. I can’t get back fast enough.

This was all meant to be temporary. But who were we kidding? Elena and I are as permanent as they come. I love her more than I knew was possible to love another person. Not one cell in my body wants this to end. This hasn’t been fake, at least for me, for quite some time. In fact, the moment I said I do with Elvis as our witness, I was all in.

“Beck.” Cade puts his hand on my knees to halt the incessant tapping. “What’s wrong? You’re starting to worry me. Is there something I should know? Something you’re not telling me?”

Emotion wells in my eyes, and I feel as if I’m truly about to lose my shit. “Not here.”

He removes his hand. “Okay. Do you need anything? Water?”

“No. I just need to get home.”

“Another hour and we’ll be landing. It’ll be okay,” he says again. While annoying, I can’t hold it against him. If he knew the truth, he would know that if Elena leaves me—I’ll be the furthest from okay.

The minutes tick by as slow as humanly possible until finally, the plane lands. Without a word to anyone, I race to my car and drive toward our condo. It’s almost noon. I hate that I missed the last commercial flight back to Michigan. Coach has a rule that the team flies back from road games on our chartered plane together. He hasn’t made many exceptions to that rule over the years. Had there been the opportunity to take another flight home, I would have—Coach’s rules be damned. As it is, this was the best I could do, and it gave Elena the whole night without me to do what she came back for.

I don’t remember the drive home, parking, or running up the sidewalk to my condo. But I know as soon as I turn the key and open the door that she’s gone.

Most of her things are in storage, but the little pieces of her that existed here have created a void, making the space feel empty. Her phone charger with the long purple cord that she left plugged in by the sofa is missing. Her favorite mug, with a photo collage of Ariana when she was a toddler, that Elena hung on a hook by the coffee pot is gone. The soft fleece throw I bought for her to keep on the couch because she’s always cold, the blanket she uses every day, is still folded in its place on the back of the sofa, and my rage builds. She only took the items she came with and left what I gave her as if that moment in time had never happened. In less than twelve hours, she’s erased me from her life.

I already know what I’ll find in the bedrooms, so it’s not a shock when I discover them empty of her clothes and toiletries. She packed up what little she had here and left me before I could beg her to stay.

I sit on my bed. Shoulders slumping, I drop my elbows to my knees, and my hands hold my face. I breathe deeply, in and out, trying to wrap my mind around it all. Things were so good between us that I was naive enough to think I’d never be in this place. We never openly discussed continuing our relationship, but I’d just assumed we would. Why would she want to end what we have? She’s been here. She knows how great we are together. It doesn’t make sense.

Even now, after she left me in Seattle to rush home and move out of our home, I don’t believe it’s real. A world in which Elena and I aren’t together doesn’t feel real. Dueling emotions rage inside, and I struggle with what to feel. Do I break down, cry, and lose my shit? Or hold it together and go find her? I suppose it's pretty obvious when I lay it out like that.

I stand from my bed and twist my torso, cracking my back. I barely slept last night and could use some shut-eye, but I have to talk to Elena. A note card, folded in half with my name on the front, sits atop the nightstand. I open it.

Beckett,

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