Page 143 of All The Things: The Last Thing He Needs Omnibus

“Because, Gav. I’m sick of fighting,” he said slowly, trying to find the right words. “Maybe it’s not true, but I feel like I can’t say anything right with you. I’m afraid to open my mouth about anything. When I make suggestions about shit, you get bugged. When I try to bring up school, you change the subject. I think you dropping out was a bad idea because—”

“Ben…”

“No, hear me out.” Ben didn’t mean to sound angry, but maybe he was. A little anyway. “I don’t want you out there on your own one day without anything to fall back on. Not because I’m gonna walk out on you—not by choice—but the odds are pretty damn decent you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, and I don’t want you having to scrounge for your next meal when that time comes.” He dropped his voice, letting the irritation drain out. “I can support us, I don’t mind doing that, but if I’m gone, all you’ve got is our savings and a life insurance policy. That’s not much, Gav, not enough for you to live off the rest of your life, and I don’t wanna die worrying about if you’re okay or not.”

Arguing looked like the furthest thing from Gavin’s mind then. He stepped up to Ben and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?”

Ben held on to him, let out a small sniffle against Gavin’s neck. “I didn’t know what my problem was until I said it out loud.”

“You’ve really got to work on that.”

Ben laughed against Gavin’s shoulder before kissing the side of his face.

When Gavin pulled back, he looked hesitant and chewed his bottom lip for a beat before he said, “I dropped out of school because I didn’t wanna be saddled with a huge debt for a degree in something I’d never use.” Before Ben could say anything else, Gavin added, “Tony and I have been talking and… I found a local culinary program. I already have a few credits that would transfer…” When Ben started to say something, Gavin covered Ben’s mouth and smiled. “I know you think I should take some business classes too, but, swear to God, Ben, that was sucking the soul out of me. These classes will still give me something to fall back on if… I ever need that. But it’s the only thing I actually enjoy doing, okay?”

Well, hell. Ben couldn’t really argue with any of that. “Okay,” he said when Gavin dropped his palm from Ben’s mouth. “When do you wanna start?”

“I wanna take another year, be around for Tina and the baby for a bit.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Ben wasn’t even lying. Maybe it wasn’t the plan Ben would’ve made for Gavin, but who the hell was he to criticize? When he told his parents he didn’t want to be a fisherman or even go to college for a “real” degree, that he wanted to study art and give people tattoos for a living, it had taken them quite a few weeks to go from no fucking way to follow your dream, son. “So why didn’t you tell me that sooner?” Ben asked, echoing Gavin’s words from a moment before.

Gavin narrowed his eyes, jutted his chin out, looked irritated. “I’ve been telling you that—trying to tell you that—since a week before I dropped out.”

Had he? He had. Maybe not in so many words, maybe not all laid out like that, but yeah. Gavin had tried. “Shit,” he muttered. Ben needed to work on a lot more than timing, apparently. Mostly he needed to work on keeping his damn mouth shut and listening when Gavin tried to tell him things—even if he didn’t want to hear them. “I’m sorry, Gav.” Ben leaned in and pressed his forehead to Gavin’s. “I’m gonna get better at this. Promise.”

Maybe he’d finally said the right thing. Gavin nodded and then tilted his head to press a kiss to Ben’s lips. When he pulled back he asked, “Which house did you like? Any of them?”

This was the eighth house Joe had found, and the last one on the list for the day.

“That ugly little rambler we saw a while back.”

Gavin scrunched up his nose but didn’t say anything.

“We can deal with the cosmetic shit and the hideous yard, paint it a pretty color and all that, but… New copper piping? The roof was in great shape, hardwood floors under the funky shag carpeting, and even you liked the fireplace in the living room. Not to mention the fact that we could take the room on the far end of the house and let Tina set up on the other end.”

“You just wanna have sex in our bed again,” Gavin teased, his smile warm, fond.

“Yeah, so sue me.”

“What about a two story, though? Tina could be upstairs; that’s even farther away…”

“Yeah, true, but once the baby comes, or we have a few running around, it’ll be nice not to deal with gates or worrying about them falling down and breaking their necks.”

Gavin seemed to miss the main point about safety and latched on to something Ben barely realized he’d said. “A few? I thought you wanted to wait a decade and then maybe adopt one.”

Busted. “Yeah, well.” Ben tightened his arms around Gavin. “Maybe you’re right. Waiting until I’m fifty isn’t a great idea. And… hell, watching you with Tina… You’re gonna make a great father, Gav, and I had the best goddamned example, so maybe I won’t fuck it up too badly.” He paused to kiss Gavin’s forehead and then pulled back to see his face. “But, ya know, whatever we do, have one or a dozen or just get a dog, this is step one, right?”

What had he done this time? Gavin bunched up his mouth and his eyes were all shining and, damn it all to hell. How was that possibly the wrong thing to say?

Gavin clung to him suddenly, so hard he nearly threw Ben off balance. He buried his face against Ben’s neck. “Okay, yeah.” He sounded muffled, talking through sniffles. “Step one: ugly house with good plumbing in a decent neighborhood. Done.”

Chapter Twenty

Gavin

On the drive back, Joe had a lot of good things to say about the house they were interested in. The owner had dropped the price the day before, so they needed to jump on it.

Gavin really wished Tina had come along now. “Shit, I didn’t take a single picture of that one.”

---