Page 28 of All The Things: The Last Thing He Needs Omnibus

Cheryl sat in the middle of the floor covered in red sauce, looking like she’d worn herself out. He’d seen the same thing happen with the twins when they were overtired and fighting sleep and kicking up a fit. Eventually they wound down on their own because their little bodies could only take it for so long. He didn’t like thinking of Cheryl in the same light, so he tried to push the idea away.

He watched where he stepped as he walked into the kitchen. “Where’s Pop?” Food and broken glass were scattered all over the floor. It would take hours to clean up, and Christ only knew how he was going to replace the food he couldn’t salvage.

“Huh?” Cheryl looked confused, blinking up at Tommy like she didn’t know he was there. “Oh, he’s in the can.”

Tommy nodded and stepped farther away from her and the mess. He went back out the door and up the stairs to the bathroom. Cal had passed out on the tile floor, using the bathmat as a blanket. At least he was out of the way.

Going back into the kitchen, Tommy found Cheryl in the same spot. She was sitting up, but she looked like a ragdoll, limp and slumped over. She was crying, and Tommy tried not to care.

“Ya know”—Cheryl wiped her hair back off her face, smearing sauce with it—“I was pretty once, Tommy.” She let out a broken little laugh through her tears.

Tommy was trying to figure out if she had a point or if she was too high or too drunk and couldn’t stop herself from rambling. In the end, he decided it didn’t matter.

“A real looker. Back in high school, I was the prettiest thing you ever saw.”

Tilting his head and trying to picture it, Tommy was surprised when he could almost see it. Her skin was pockmarked and wrinkled from too much sun and too much booze and probably from all the meth and heroin. Her hair was so bleached it looked like straw, dark roots showing, and she only had about half her teeth, but he could imagine it. Cheryl back before the life she lived had eaten away at her, before she was covered in track marks, before she was wrecked. Tommy could imagine it. He almost asked her what had happened, but he already knew.

He was starting to clean up the mess on the table and the countertops when Cheryl spoke again. This time it sounded as if she’d forgotten he was there.

“One of the cutest boys asked me out. God, he was so handsome. And his folks were rich. He asked me to the movies, and then after our date, he took me out to the beach and we went for a long walk by the railroad tracks.”

Tommy stopped cold and turned to look at her again. He knew where this was going, and he didn’t want to hear it, but he couldn’t tell her to shut up either.

Cheryl’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “There were four of them. His friends. He must have planned it. I had a reputation, ya see. I never gave it up for anyone. I was savin’ it, ya know? For someone special, maybe even till I got married.” She looked up at Tommy then, laughing again, snot running down her face. “Stupid, huh? People don’t do that anymore, do they?” He didn’t know what to say, so he just stood there. “They told me I was a prick-tease and I had it coming. They left me there after they were done. I was freezing. They ripped my dress up. That was all I could think, ya know? My pretty dress was ruined, and I knew my mother was gonna lay into me for it.”

Part of him had never hated Cheryl more. He couldn’t believe she’d found a way to make him want to take care of her and help her. Jesus. All he could think about was Colleen and those three guys that afternoon. What if it had gone down differently? What if she hadn’t been holding a baseball bat and they hadn’t been too stupid to live? What if—

“The police found me the next day.” Cheryl broke his train of thought with another wounded laugh. “My father told me I probably asked for it, and my mother didn’t want to press charges because she was too embarrassed.” More tears spilled down her face, making clear streaks in the mess on her cheeks as she sighed. “After that I never said no again. They’re gonna take what they want anyway, right? Might as well get something for it.”

Frozen. Tommy felt frozen all the way down to his blood. He didn’t know what to say to her. It wasn’t a new story. A girl gets raped or abused and tries to numb the pain with booze and drugs, and then her life slides down a rabbit hole there’s no coming out of. It happened all the time. Every day, if he had to guess. It could have happened to Colleen after that guy in foster care. Hell, it could still happen to her. Or Carrie. Or Zoe. Any of them, really. But what was getting to Tommy in that moment, what was holding him there like he was a statue, was his own mother. He’d never wondered about what started her on the drinking and the dope. It was simply part of who she was, part of who his father was too. He always figured it was predetermined genetic coding, that it hit them like a key turning in a lock. They tried it, they liked it, and then they couldn’t stop. For the first time in his life, though, he was wondering what his mother’s real story was. Too bad she couldn’t tell him.

In some strange way, Tommy was glad Cheryl had told him. He was glad she wasn’t going to take that to her grave. Eventually some guy would cut her throat on the side of the road, or she would OD, or… something. But at least now, he could look at her and know what happened and why. He had to remind himself that it didn’t excuse her from anything. A dog that’s been beaten and abused and bites everyone who crosses its path is still a danger to society. Cheryl was the same way. He could let himself pity her, though.

“Why don’t we get you cleaned up?” Finally able to move, he stepped over to her. “Hot shower will make things better.”

“Yeah.” She took his hand when he offered it. When he had her up on her feet, supporting her with an arm around her waist, Cheryl asked, “What’d you do with my stash, Tommy?”

“I think you used it up, Cher.”

“Maybe. Maybe I should lay off for a while anyway.”

He knew that wouldn’t last. Detox hadn’t set in yet. When it did, when she couldn’t see straight from the pain and she couldn’t do anything but puke and shit and cry, she’d change her mind. He couldn’t really blame her. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stand it either. “After we get ya clean, you want me to take you down to the hospital? See if they got a bed in rehab?” He had nothing better to offer her.

She looked at him and smiled her jagged, brown-toothed, grin. They were standing in the doorway to the bathroom, trying not to trip over his father. “Nah, that’s all right, Tommy. I can do it on my own. I don’t need any help from anyone.”

Her words washed over him like ice water.

It took nearly two hours to get the kitchen in order again. Tommy had put Cheryl to bed after her shower and then dragged his father into their room. What a fucking day. He was working on the living room when the phone rang. It was Colleen. She let him know where they were and asked if he was going to join them. He told her he had to finish cleaning up and keep an eye on Cheryl and Cal. She understood but sounded disappointed.

“How’s the kids?” He wasn’t really worried about them, but he was used to checking on them.

Colleen laughed. “They’re fine. I don’t think Bobby knew how much they could eat. Davey and Mike put away six chili dogs between them.”

“That’ll teach him.” Tommy laughed softly as he continued to pick things up around the room. “How, uh, how’s Bobby doing? He looked a little rattled when you guys left.”

“You mean is he still pissed at you?”

“Yeah, that.”

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