Page 32 of All The Things: The Last Thing He Needs Omnibus

For a split second, Tommy thought Bobby might make a joke, tell him he had a use for him if his ass was in the air too. Instead, Tommy saw the look of recognition in Bobby’s eyes, chased away quickly by a look of deep regret.

“Christ, Tom,” he whispered, dropping his forehead to Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I said that.”

Tommy slid his hand up Bobby’s back and ran his fingers through Bobby’s short blond hair. He let his eyes fall shut as he whispered, “I’m sorry if I ever make you feel like that.”

He wasn’t sure if Bobby had heard him at first. His words were so soft and so quiet, so unwilling to be spoken aloud. But when Bobby lifted his head and looked him in the eye, he knew Bobby had caught every one.

“You do.” Bobby whispered, a tender admission, and it looked to Tommy he felt guilty for even saying it. “Not always, but sometimes. And I know it’s just because… you’re you.”

That left a whole world for them to talk about. An ugly world full of Tommy’s demons and Bobby’s optimism. A world full of regret and pain and missed opportunities and that malicious bitch everyone called Hope. It was too much for Tommy to think about. It might always be too much, so instead of prying the lid off Pandora’s box and letting all the evil of his world fly into Bobby’s face again, Tommy gave him a slow smile. “Now who’s the asshole?”

“Still you.”

While Bobby made the call to order three large pizzas, breadsticks, and a couple of two-liters of soda, Tommy sent Mike down to the corner store for some ice cream. Bobby quirked his brow and gave him a crooked smile. He covered the phone with his palm and whispered, “You can’t even let me buy the ice cream?”

Tommy knew it was ridiculous. He knew he was being stupid and, just as Bobby had said, pigheaded, but no, he couldn’t let him. “If you pay, you get to pick the flavor.” Tommy knew it was a thin excuse at best.

“And I always pick chocolate peanut butter,” Bobby replied, adding with a smug grin, “Your favorite.” Tommy didn’t get a chance to respond because Bobby turned his attention back to the phone call. “Yeah, I’m still here.”

Dinner arrived just as Colleen got home from work. She looked haggard, starting to fray and tatter like the shirt she wore. Tommy felt the same stab of guilt he always did when he looked at her after a long shift. No seventeen-year-old should ever look like a middle-aged single mother with dull hair and bags under her eyes. He hated it.

She practically collapsed into the chair across from Tommy as she reached for a slice of pizza. “Rocky told me he could use me down at the bowling alley on my days off. He had two people quit this week, and Rhonda is gonna drop her baby any day now. He’s pretty desperate, told me he’d start me off at twelve an hour.”

Tommy thought about it for a minute. No way could he let her take a second job. Things were okay. No room for extras, but everything was covered. “That’s a lot more than your hourly down at the diner. You could just quit and work for Rocky full time.”

Colleen shrugged and finished her bite of pizza before she answered. “I did the math. When ya factor in my tips and the free food I get from the diner, it’s about the same. Maybe less.” She kicked off her sneakers with a sigh of relief before she went on. “But picking up a few shifts down there would be nice, ya know? Maybe even have a real Christmas this year or something.”

Collin heard her words and his face lit up, and Tommy could tell Carrie was trying not to look hopeful at the idea of more than one present under a Christmas tree they didn’t have to steal. Bobby was doing his best to keep his mouth shut about the whole subject, and Tommy had to give him credit. It was probably killing him not to offer any input.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he can work me in around my schedule down at the pub.”

Tommy followed Colleen’s glance when she cut her eyes to Bobby. Bobby’s jaw was rigid, and he looked at his slice of pizza like it had done something to offend him. The look she gave Tommy was hard and pointed when she said, “You’ve been working forty-plus hours since summer started. You plan on giving up sleep?”

“You’re working full time too. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time I skipped out on some shut-eye.”

Tommy’s comment got a derisive snort from Bobby. He got up from the table and tossed his napkin and half-eaten food into the trashcan. Tommy thought for a minute Bobby was going to take off for the night, maybe for a few nights. He looked fed up. He lasted longer than I thought he would….

“How about we move this into the living room and put on a movie?” Bobby asked, patting Carrie’s shoulder before he freed Max from his high chair. The kids all hopped up, grabbing the remainders of dinner, cups of soda, and more napkins as they went. It took a moment for the room to clear before Colleen and Tommy were alone.

Colleen waited for the kitchen door to swing shut before she said anything. “You guys barely see each other a couple hours a day as it is. Sometimes not even that.”

Tommy picked the black olives off his pizza and scowled. “He’s over here all the damn time.”

“Bullshit.” Colleen didn’t sound angry. She sounded tired but willing to stand her ground. “He spends half his time at work, and the rest he tries to divide between his mother and you. If anyone is going without sleep around here, it’s probably Bobby.”

Colleen had a point and Tommy knew it. It frustrated the hell out of him. He scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a deep breath. “What the hell am I supposed to do, Col? Skip town and go on some romantic getaway? Say fuck it all and let us starve so I can spend some time with him?”

“I don’t know, but the guy is begging for scraps of your attention. He knows he’s about number ten on your list of priorities and he gets that, but he’s not gonna stand around and wait forever, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know. But knowing doesn’t get me any closer to fixing it.”

Colleen offered him a sad smile as she nudged him under the table with her toe. “Story of our lives, huh?”

Tommy stood up from the table then, picking up after the kids and clearing the mess away. “That’s the God’s fuckin’ truth,” he said, feeling foolish for the resentment that always rested under the surface. Resentment for his father, resentment for his mother, resenting Bobby a little too. If he and Bobby could’ve just made their connection a few years from now when things were more settled, when Tommy had gotten custody of the kids, when Colleen was out of high school and maybe in a better job with fewer hours and more pay, when he didn’t have two babies to take care of on top of the rest of the necessities. Things would’ve been different. Things could’ve been easier. If he’d only been born to someone who had some sense of decency, some sense of responsibility, everything would’ve been different. “Coulda, woulda, shoulda, right?”

As tired as she obviously was, Colleen got to her feet. She took over for Tommy in the cleanup and tilted her head toward the living room. “Just don’t let Bobby fall into that category, all right?”

Tommy balled up the napkin in his hand like he was trying to choke it. “All right.”

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