Page 16 of Vegas Baby

KIRA

I don’t wake on Thursday since I never went to sleep in the first place. Want and guilt warred within me, robbing me of sleep. Because I wanted Sebastian last night, badly. So badly I agreed to stay. How could I not feel guilty for continuing to put him in danger?

I cannot say exactly what I feel for him besides want, though. It’s hard to separate my emotions out these days. I have so many, even besides the pain, the fear, and the hope that has only recently begun to illuminate the darkness of my life.

Part of that hope is because I finally have the distance and space I’ve so desperately needed to see things clearly. But another part of that hope is, undeniably, because of Sebastian. I don’t want to be alone as much as he doesn’t want me to be. But I don’t just want someone to not be alone with. I want him. Because being alone has never scared me before. I think … I think I don’t want to lose him as much as he doesn’t want to lose me. I’ve come to need him, and it scares me. Not for my own heart, but for the peril it puts him in. I hate myself for wanting to be near him, for risking him.

Unfortunately, leaving causes just as many problems as staying. It’s a conundrum I’ll have to deal with another day. Today, I take back another part of my life: my career.

At the thought, I rise with purpose, cleaning and dressing myself before having a light meal and getting ready to leave. I notice an envelope taped to the door as I go to open it.

I look inside and find a key and a note which simply says “yours.” I clutch the small, metal gift in my fist and hold it to my heart.

And then I head out to meet my fate.

The journey is both challenging and invigorating. Such small accomplishments, finding the bus stop, riding the bus, walking to the theater. I have to go slow, as my pain creeps higher the more I exert myself. But it’s good to do these most basic of things again. To rely on myself. To be out in the world.

When I approach Cliff’s office, his door is open, and I can hear him typing away. It feels like any other day I’ve had to speak with him. I hover in the doorway until he looks up.

“Kira. Come in. Sit.” He eyes my neck brace and gestures to the chair across from him.

I balance delicately on the edge, leaned forward. Before I can say a word, he plops a sheaf of papers in front of me.

“Here’s your amended contract. I got you up to twelve weeks from your last performance to return to the show. Your leave will be unpaid, but I have your check here for the last period you worked. You’ll need to submit a doctor’s note along with the signed contract and we’ll be good to go.”

I blink rapidly, trying to absorb the onslaught of information.

“That’s it?” I ask bluntly.

“That’s it. So long as the signed contract and note are in my hands by the end of next week.”

I look at the stack of papers in front of me, at the check paper clipped to the top page. My eyes widen at the amount.

“I … is this right?” I gasp.

Cliff frowns. “I know it’s not the full check you’re used to, but you only worked a little more than half the shows you’d normally be paid for.”

My jaw drops and I look up at him. I usually make twice this? I lift the stack, clutching it to my chest for a moment before carefully placing it in my bag.

Cliff’s brows bunch together. “That fucker really was taking your money, wasn’t he?” he growls.

I nod sheepishly.

“Yeah, he tried to pick up this check yesterday too. Told him you’d be coming to pick it up yourself today, and I’d be dealing with you and only you from now on,” he informs me smugly.

My very blood slows in my veins as I freeze in place. “You told him I’d be here today?” I stand, backing up from the desk.

“Well … I … he …” Cliff stutters, realizing he’s made a mistake.

But he has no idea how big of a mistake.

“I have to go,” I say.

“Kira, wait!” he calls.

But I’m already gone. Out the door, running through the hall behind the theater as I pull out my phone to call Sebastian, hoping he’s able to answer.

“Kira? What’s wrong?”

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