Page 69 of Demons & Damnation

“WHEN YOU TOOK HER FROM ME,” he said, eyeing his brother with a steely glare to keep quiet. “I was then afraid of life without her, and oddly, life without you, even though I wanted to kill you myself. Since we’ve been like this, I’ve been afraid that you would leave me, and lo and behold, you’ve finally taken the first step to do that.”

“You hate me,” Balthazar said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve had two millennia of our weird dynamics and it’s time we go our separate ways. You’re never going to forgive me for what I did and that’s fine, I understand it, I get it. It doesn't mean we both need to suffer this forever, does it?”

“But,” Azazel said, his voice dropping ten decibels. “This is better than the alternative.”

Balthazar frowned. “What do you mean?”

Azazel rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ. You’re supposed to be the clever one, remember?” Azazel let out a long sigh. “Alone, Balthazar. I’m afraid of being alone.”

Silence fell between the two, stretching on for painful seconds, filling the air with a heavily pregnant pause as each of them tried to work out the shifting dynamics in their relationship.

“But...but you never want me around, Azazel. You kill me at any given opportunity. I don’t get it.”

“If anyone knows I’m complicated, Balthazar, it’s you.” Azazel let out a sigh. “I don’t want to be alone and I’m also absolutely petrified of finding someone I care for in case...I let them down again, in case I can’t protect them when they need me, in case I can’t bear the twisted turn of events life may throw at us.”

Balthazar stared at his brother, dumbfounded at the words coming out of his mouth. If it weren’t for the fact aliens didn’t exist, he would have thought Azazel had been kidnapped, cloned, and replaced.

“And you,” Azazel said, continuing his speech. “I think you’re afraid that you won’t ever find your own Cassia, and if you do, she won’t forgive what you did. You’re afraid of being stuck like this forever, and you’re also afraid that I might get my second chance and you’ll have to live through all of that all over again.”

Balthazar stared at the floor, motionless.

“You’re afraid of doing it again, aren’t you?” Azazel asked, realisation dawning on him. “You’re afraid of me finding happiness, and you wanting my life again, my wife, my child, your own child. You...you can’t control yourself, can you?”

“I’m afraid of losing control,” Balthazar whispered.

Chapter 29

Kyla’s heart wasn’t just in her mouth, it was threatening to leap out of it. The bitter taste of adrenaline swarmed through her, fizzing her veins to the point of trembling. Sweat coated her. The deafening sound of her pulse in her ears soon turned into an annoying thump, one beat indistinguishable from the next.

Nerves, nausea, and shock collided in her stomach in a violent crash. Painful memories seized control of her conscious mind, taking her right back to that fateful moment when everything changed.

The agonising cramps in her belly started, as if Tony were ripping her apart all over again. She could feel each jerky move scraping her womb, tearing delicate tissue and an innocent little egg.

Her arms fell numb from fighting against her restraints, and she could no longer feel her feet from the merciless cable ties either. Each violent stab of pain carved a gully of woeful torment in her mind.

And his face. She could never forget his face.

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