Page 34 of Making Choices

“‘Cause Joseph’s father-in-law is the boss of the Maddison Clan. He basically made you his bitch for free.” Disbelief covers John’s face, then reality dawns. He understands that he was taken for a ride, but I’m fresh out of sympathy. The smirk I hit him with is cruel, as is the way I bury the end of the scalpel into his shoulder once I’ve carved the stem of the shamrock into his cheek. “That’s for bein’ a dumb motherfucker.”

For the next twenty minutes, we go back and forth. Venom asks a question. John answers. I pose a hypothetical. Every now and then, he wavers, and I have to employ a little persuasion. Poor John does his best to stammer through his explanations. By the end of it, we know more than we did at the beginning, even if this new information has created more problems than it’s solved.

We know for certain that Brutus is involved with the Maddison Clan and the Bishops of Bloodshed as well as Joseph Kingsley. The reason why—apart from our educated guess that it involves moving the MC into hard drugs and sex trafficking—still remains a mystery. Hunter’s speculation that Alex is holed up on the Kingsley family farm is also confirmed. That means he’s technically untouchable for the foreseeable future since the Shamrocks turf ends at the farm gate.

Like I said. More questions than answers were given.

“You wanna do the honours?” Venom asks from behind John.

“Nah,” I tell him with a manufactured shrug. “His main sin was against Cherub… this is your kill.”

I don’t want to give this to him, yet I know I must.

It’ll help me unblur the lines that I’m trying to pretend have faded.

“Bye, bye, Johnny boy. You dumb fuckin’ pawn.” The tendons in Venom’s hands bulge as he pulls the ends of the garrotte together and slices John Connor’s throat. I watch the blood that slips free of the wound. As it’s dripping down his pasty chest, I swipe at it with my finger and use the viscous liquid to paint a shamrock in the middle of his forehead. “You thinkin’ we should deliver him to Joseph rather than give the pigs a good feed?”

Stepping back to admire my handiwork, I tell Venom, “I’m thinkin’ he needs to be left on the dirty fuck’s front doorstep. We might even set somethin’ on fire on the way out.”

The feral light that initially brightens Venom’s eyes at the thought of fucking with Joseph Kingsley dulls a second later. “I can’t do it. Promised Lily I’d spend the night with her before everythin’ goes down tomorrow.”

Normally, I’d palm a job like this off on one of my enforcers. Not tonight. The last place I want to be is stuck in the room across the hall while my best friend fucks my dream girl until she’s screaming at the top of her lungs and the brothers in the rooms on either side of them are hooting and hollering their encouragement.

“I’ll take Hunter with me.”

“You sure? Could get Tank and Toker to handle it.”

“Nah. Me and him need to talk some shit out. Trappin’ him in the van with me will stop him from runnin’.”

“I’d do it, but…” He trails off and runs a bloody hand through his hair. “I’m gonna be fucked without her. We need tonight.”

“It’s cool.” It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to lie to him. “I’ve got nothin’ better to do anyway.”

“I’ll owe you,” he asserts. “Next job is just you and me… like old times.”

Seeing the earnest way that he regards me is a fist to the gut. I’m a fucking terrible friend. Disloyal. Fucked in the head. I should tell him what’s really going through my mind so he can put a bullet through me and feed me to the pigs.

End my misery.

Stop my conscience from trying to choke me.

Pity I can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m weak as rehydrated piss when it comes to Cherub.

“I’ll go get the van from Cass’ and clean up here. You can get back to the compound—make sure you tell Hunter to meet me here before you tumble balls deep into ya woman.”

After cleaning our hands up as best we can, we exchange the same convoluted handshake turned hug come back slap we’ve been using since we were ten. I traipse my way past the pigsties and climb over the fence that separates Hades farm from Cass’ while the sound of Venom’s Harley bounces off the hills until it fades out of hearing range.

When I’m certain I’m alone, I allow my real feelings to hit me.

It feels like my heart is trapped in a vise. The squeeze is agonising. My head is a disaster. Worst of all is my gut. It’s screaming at me to stop. Yelling loud as it can that I’m going to fuck up the two best relationships in my life if I keep heading along this path. I’ll lose both my best friends in one fell swoop and nothing will change for them—except to drive them closer together.

The truth is that Lilianna Mayberry has belonged to Ezekiel Miles since the day she was born. All I’ve got to do is make myself believe that like I used to.

Fucking Bebe the next time she offers will be a good step in that direction.

The message that pops up on my phone a second later only compounds my misery.

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