Page 57 of Making Choices

“Nah,” I tell him. “Chamomile tea isn’t for me.”

“I shouldn’t have stirred you up.”

“You didn’t,” I retort. “It’s just a random bug that’s taking its sweet time torturing me. I’ve been feeling off since I got here.”

“Are you sure Venom hasn’t…” He glances down at me and his cheeks redden. “You know?”

“Positive. That’s not on the cards for us.”

“’Cause of…”

“Yeah.”

“Kids are overrated, anyway. You’ll have more fun with just the two of you.”

I sigh. “Maybe.”

He grunts noncommittally. I feel him shift beneath me, then he combs his fingers through my hair and starts to divide it into sections. I allow my eyelids to droop shut when I realise that he’s going to braid my long locks. The lonely days get the better of me and my body sinks into the couch as his gentle touch reminds me that my current circumstances are temporary. I won’t be separated from my favourite people forever.

“Haven’t done this for ten years. Amazed I remember how,” Toker remarks a little while later. “I remember practicin’ on Slash’s hair so I could surprise you when we visited.”

“I’m shocked he let you.”

“He wasn’t happy about it, let me tell you.” My cousin chuckles. “Once I explained that it was for you, though, he gave in, but he made it so we had to sneak away so Venom wouldn’t find us.”

“Zeke would’ve laughed his arse off if he caught you.”

“Nah. The fucker woulda stolen my idea. You know what he’s like with you.”

As the vision of my fiancé trying to learn how to braid invades my mind’s eye, I hiccup. With his big hands more accustomed to handling motorcycle parts and butane torches, he would’ve been all thumbs at it, but he wouldn’t have stopped until he had mastered the skill. My eyes get the heavy feeling that tells me a crying jag is about to hit me. I do my best not to blink while I stare at the TV screen.

“Shit’s gonna get real soon,” Toker tells me, breaking the companionable silence that has fallen.

“How so?” I hold my breath as I wait for him to inform me that my nightmare is almost over. When he doesn’t immediately respond, I verbalise the question that I want an answer for most. “Is Zeke coming to get me?”

“Not yet. But there’s a party at the clubhouse tomorrow night. Venom and Slash have been invited. It’s the first time they’ve been allowed into the compound for anythin’ other than church since it all went down.”

By “all went down” he obviously means mine and Zeke’s breakup.

“So what? It’s a party… doesn’t get us any closer to answers about Dad and whatever he’s up to with Joseph Kingsley.”

“Patience, grasshopper.” Toker lightly flicks my ear. “It’s a step in the right direction. Means Brutus is loosenin’ up. The more he relaxes, the sooner he’ll fuck up so we can nail his rat arse. Slash thinks—”

Pushing myself upright, I snag the cushion and hug it to my churning stomach. “How is Slash? I haven’t seen him at the hospital. He doesn’t answer my texts. I’m really worried about him. I mean, the anniversary is still months away, and since he wasn’t as self-destructive as normal when the last one hit, I’m afraid he’s having a delayed reaction.”

“Don’t worry about him. He’s got some shit he’s sortin’ through.”

“Because of her and the baby?” Jenna’s name burns a hole at the tip of my tongue, however, I refuse to speak it. “If he spirals and something happens, I’ll never forgive myself for not pushing harder to reach him.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Toker bounds to his feet. Hands on his hips, he glares down at me. “Forget about Slash. That giant imbecile ain’t your problem. Worry about you and Venom, and gettin’ through the damage Alex has brought back to the surface.”

“Wow.” I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from yelling at him for being so callous. When I’m certain I have my anger under control, I state slowly, “You’re one of his best friends. I expected better.”

“So did I,” my cousin retorts cryptically. “So did everyone.”

“I don’t understand—”

“And that’s the way I wanna keep it.”

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