Page 118 of Talk Nerdy To Me
“And then there’s the inability to accept help because he always wants to be the hero and thinks he has something to prove instead of listening to any professional advice from people already in the industry. He pushes back against people when they try to give him advice or help, to be more accurate. And that stems to his personal life as well. It’s hard to address things because he’s defensive.”
Ash sits back, shoulders slumping. I realize belatedly that it sounds like I’m sitting here talking badly about him, because they’re all showing concern.
I was just answering the question, and now I feel like I’ve done something really wrong. I don’t want to do anything really wrong with Base.
My palms start stinging, and I look down to see my fingernails have started digging into them.
“Did I just sound like I was being critical?” I ask them, worried now.
“No. No. We know you didn’t mean to be,” Allie tells me dismissively.
“You’re really breaking up when he goes on tour, aren’t you?” Ash asks like it’s the first time she’s asked that question instead of the thirteenth.
“Of course we are. He has a lot of things to accomplish before he feels whole, and his path is completely different from mine. But I think we’ll always be friends because this has been…mostly perfect. We don’t have to ruin it by addressing issues.”
“You’re sure he’s on the exact same page?” Brin asks me like this is crucial information.
“He has plenty of things he wants to address with me that he hints at but holds back as well. He also seems uncomfortable around money, and this is all part of my life too.” I gesture to some of the extravagance surrounding us. “It’s daunting and takes a lot of adjusting and effort. However, tonight proves he doesn’t intend to put forth unnecessary effort. It’s practical. It also means he’s not deviated from the original agreement.”
A small smile graces my lips, because in fifteen minutes he’ll at least get to see my pretty black dress that only goes across one shoulder and has a split up the side to the middle of my thigh. Understated sexy is what Rain called it.
Tria drops to a chair, no longer smirking. I’m not sure why they all look so sad. I’m now thirteen minutes from meeting him outside, and time is still counting down.
Slowly.
So. So. Slowly.
“Huh. I guess we were all the idiots then,” Harley finally says after being unusually quiet on the subject tonight.
My phone chimes with a text, and I glance down to see it’s from Base. He’s been quiet all day, and between helping with the event and getting what Rain calls the ‘princess treatment’ that makes all the hard work feel a little more fun, I haven’t been able to see him.
BASE: Running late. I’ll see you in twenty.
The illogical amount of disappointment I feel from the minuscule delay is a testament to how much I want to cling to these last few weeks before he’s gone.
He’s already later than the original time we discussed by a full hour.
His tone is impossible to tell through text, so I don’t know if something is wrong or if he just lost track of time.
Ash sucks in a breath when she reads something on her phone, and she curses as she pinches the bridge of her nose.
Rain asks me about the toothbrushes again and if our bathrooms look the same with products and stuff. Why the fascination with the random bathroom factoids?
Ash leans up, putting her phone away, and talks over Rain. “So, theoretically, if something happened to his tour, would you consider working on these unaddressed issues and give a relationship a real try?” she asks.
I pause, frowning at the very serious worry/dread on her face. Not sure which. Neither seems good.
“Did something happen to his tour?” Harley asks her, aiding me in explaining the shift in atmosphere.
Ash puts down her phone, smiling tightly at me. “A label pulled strings to have their spot given to a new band they’re promoting, and the guys have been trying all day to—”
I don’t hear what else she says, because I’m lifting my phone and calling Base as I stand and start walking through the throngs of people.
He won’t take this well.
“Hey, sorry I’m running behind, but I’m not too far from—”
“You’re definitely losing your spot on the tour?” I ask him as I needle my way through the doors to where I can hear him better, my heels clicking as I take the sidewalk around the building toward the sea of cars in the parking lot.
