Page 122 of Talk Nerdy To Me
Harley’s arms come around me, pulling me to her, and I move so that my face is against her shoulder as I cry. We idle on the side of the road as the pain in my chest intensifies, constricting until it’s physically agonizing to breathe.
“It’s not supposed to h-hurt this much,” I say, my words slightly muffled.
She hugs me tighter. “The human element always fucks up the plans in your head, Britt.” She pats my back gently as the console digs into my hip. “You’re just as human as the rest of us.”
That seems to make it okay to cry harder, because that’s what I do. I shake my head, forcing deep breaths in between sobs, as I try to calm myself.
A streetlight illuminates the interior just enough for me to see the cake I’ve smeared all over her leather and carpeting.
“I’m so sorry,” I say around a hiccupped sob as I wipe the tears out of my eyes.
“I have an excellent car detailer. Don’t worry about a little cake and champagne.”
I finish drying my eyes, and I take a deeper, less shaky breath as things start stacking back into place in my mind.
“I should pack his things and have them sent over. It’ll be better that way. It’s healthier to move on as soon as possible instead of dwelling on disappointing breaks,” I tell her, quoting my psychologist.
“It’s okay to dwell for a night or two,” Harley tells me softly. “You don’t have to—”
“It’s going to take longer than tonight to move on,” I interrupt, understanding her line of conversation and where it leads next as I slowly get ahold of my emotions.
“The human element is messy,” she goes on.
“Krysta owes me a favor. I’ll just have her drop it off for me,” I carry on, as Harley makes a small breath of frustration.
But she puts the car in gear and pulls back into traffic as I take steadier and steadier breaths, staring absently at the taillights in front of us.
“Don’t shut the door completely after one fight. I’ve learned people can fuck up and still be in love. Love’s what makes them stupid in the first place,” she presses.
“Even though we get along great when ignoring our differences, it still doesn’t make us any less different, and working through the resulting issues of that will leave me in an unhealthy state of constant compromise because his expectations—however reasonable—are too high for me to reach at this point in my life. We were always going to end,” I say to her, though it’s mostly just me reminding myself.
“It was fun while it lasted,” I add on a quieter note, finally understanding that expression as well. “But it was always going to end,” I say again as the tears slowly stop leaking at last.
With shaky hands, I pull out my phone.
“Don’t call him yet, Britt. Let it breathe a few days,” Harley says as I lift my phone to my ear.
“Britt?” Bo asks. “I just heard. Are you okay?”
That spares me from having to explain things.
“I’m fine. It’s fine. It was inevitable,” I tell her as the last of the emotion leaves my voice.
I see Harley shoot a frown in my direction.
“What do you need from me? Pizza? Sad movies? I’ve got it all. Or is this just a temporary pause moment that’s being blown out of proportion?”
I thought I was spared…
“It’s an impasse. I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m not calling about that. I was wondering if I could use the favor you owe me.”
“Of course.”
Harley shoots me an indecipherable look I barely take note of as we pull up in front of my house and she turns off the car.
“I want to schedule a meeting with your father.”
Harley groans, and I hear Bo make an uncomfortable noise as well.
