Page 54 of Talk Nerdy To Me
A groan sounds in the back of his throat, and that’s all the warning I get before his lips are suddenly on mine. It’s so startling that I don’t even close my eyes for the first second of it.
By second number two, my eyes are closed and the ‘mush’ term finally makes sense.
My entire body feels like it’s trying to go limp.
His arms come around me as his tongue teases the seam of my lips before delicately destroying the rest of my ability to think.
Why am I moaning? It’s too soon for moaning. And uniquely embarrassing.
My entire body feels like it needs to be closer, so I practically start climbing him, kissing him harder as control seems to flee from my grasp. His hands slide up, moving under my shirt, but not too far.
Another groan comes from him, and I know I whimper when he breaks the kiss that I wasn’t ready to end this time.
“Fuck, why are you wearing pants?” he asks on a strained sound.
“Why aren’t you?” I volley, just as his lips come back down on mine, swallowing the sounds that follow.
His grip on me tightens, and he turns me, backing me up until I feel the bed behind me. My fingers thread through his hair, and I can’t stop myself from trying to pull him closer once again, even though I don’t know how much closer we could possibly get.
He puts me down and immediately opens the button of my jeans. I don’t stop him from pushing them down. In fact, I help him out, wiggling, kicking, and doing all I can to get free.
As soon as I kick them aside, he lifts me again, and we crash to the bed. Immediately settling himself between my thighs with no preamble, and kissing me as his thin boxers compete with my indecently thin panties.
There’s a familiar pressure building as his body rocks against mine, and I try to catch my breath and kiss him harder all at the same time.
My mouth opens in a gasp, because it’s like a tiny ripple of explosions flutter across my body with phantom butterfly wings. My hips arch in response, rubbing against him, finding such a more satisfying friction than anything I’ve ever manufactured.
It takes me a long moment to blink out of the surprise at what just happened.
He groans into my mouth, his hips thrusting with just the right amount of pressure. It causes me to break the kiss so I can suck in some much needed air. All the sensations are almost too much, because I’ve kissed before…but never quite so…insatiably.
My hands are all over him, greedily raking in even more sensations when he makes another sound that seems to just excite my entire body all over again.
I ignore the nicety about friends not straddling other friends’ legs, because I’m desperate for more friction. His hands move up, jerking my underwear down hard on one side. He moves to mirror the action on the other side, and I freeze as I push against his chest.
The room goes silent, aside from both of our heavy breaths.
His hand stilled the second I panicked, and he remains bent over me. We both stay silent for a minute, calming, even as I try to wrap my head around the fact I just stopped for no reason at all.
And I can’t make myself continue this very second, even though I really, really want to. I wish he’d just work me through it instead of stopping just as abruptly.
His lips brush up the column of my throat as he slowly tugs my underwear back up with a gentler touch than he jerked them down.
“You see, Valkyrie Princess,” he says softly next to my ear, “you think you’re ready, but I know you’re not. I’ve known it since the first night you stopped me—well, I’ve known it since I learned you’re not gay.”
I huff out a sound, even as I try to suck in air and not feel irrationally embarrassed about the current situation at hand.
His lips brush over my throat again, and I shiver, but still can’t seem to get my body to cooperate with what I know I want to do.
“You think you want something cold and detached,” he goes on softly. “Something easy and painless, because you’re determined to avoid pain for the rest of your life.”
Cutting my eyes away, I stare at his shoulder, idly wishing the answers to this puzzle were inked on his skin instead of the tribal signs.
“But trusting someone with something you’re scared about, something that is now so built up so much in your head from the suspense that you’re terrified it’s going to be much worse than it really is? That takes emotion. Trust doesn’t come easily. Or emotionlessly.”
He leans up, using my chin to turn my face back to face his. In this moment, despite all my reading and preparation, I feel naïve.
“If you really didn’t want to be a virgin, you wouldn’t still be a virgin,” he adds, as though he’s summing everything up for me.
