Page 80 of Talk Nerdy To Me
Only if you want everyone seeing your face when you stand up. I’m positive the room is packed.
He groans when he reads it, and Britt glances in our direction. “Any questions?” she asks Taylor, smiling cheerfully.
Taylor looks ready to die when she singles him out, and he shakes his head rapidly.
“One question,” Randy says, holding up his hand like this is class.
“He’s out of the band for real now,” Sticks hisses when we feel the burn of everyone’s eyes on us.
“When can we eat the doughnuts?” Randy asks, even though three of his doughnuts have bites out of them now.
“After we’re done with the demonstration,” Britt answers, her eyes flicking to a diagram of a…vagina…as it pops up on the screen.
I definitely don’t like the word “vagina,” but clinical terminology is best, given the fact that diagram is ruining the female anatomy for me right now.
Britt takes some sort of pointer tool, and holds it up to a very “open” display of the vagina.
“Nude shots and doughnuts. Best. Day. Ever,” Randy says, drawing too much attention to us.
“It’s a drawing, you idiot,” Taylor snaps.
“This is the part you boys probably came to take notes about,” the old lady beside me stage whispers as she nudges my arm with her elbow.
I look over as she gestures toward the diagram. “Someone finally drew you numbskulls a map,” she adds.
Looking at the diagram, I start to say something to the lady, though I forget what when Britt deadpans, “This is the clitoris.” Britt then taps the end of her little stick on the section of the diagram in question, as though it needs to be pointed out.
My head snaps back to the old woman as she winks at me, and I jerk my gaze away from her, glancing down our table to see when Randy starts actually writing shit down.
“I really thought that thing was farther south,” Randy says as he scribbles away, once again speaking way too loudly. “That explains so much.”
A few, “Oh, that’s why they’re here,” comments reach my ears, and Sticks, Taylor, and I all slink down farther in our seats.
“I thought I couldn’t be embarrassed,” Sticks growls.
“Same here,” I bite out, ready to rip Randy’s head off.
“This is the urethra,” Britt goes on, pointing to another section of the diagram.
“That I don’t need to know,” Randy says, pen poised and ready to write, should Britt give him anymore necessary information.
Another note slides in front of me from Taylor.
I hate you.
I scribble back, I hate me too, and pass it to him.
“Then you have the inner labia,” Britt goes on, pointing at another section.
“Do not ask what the inner labia is,” Sticks hisses at Randy when he starts to raise his hand. “Or I will kill you in front of too many witnesses.”
Randy slowly lowers his hand, frowning over at us.
“Then you have the vaginal opening, and as long as you’re a virgin, you will have a hymen of some variety blocking, mostly blocking, or partially blocking full admittance to foreign objects.”
Little baggies of those Fruit Roll-ups get dropped off at our table, but they’re not the actual Fruit Roll-ups. At all. Like not even a little.
I get a little queasy when I start realizing the purpose of the doughnuts.
