Page 82 of Talk Nerdy To Me
She looks back around the class. “It’s best to learn your type of hymen. Knowing your body is a good thing. It’s your body. Being aware of all of its significant secrets that will directly impact your life may change a lot of your experiences just because you know what to expect. Not to mention, it’s your right as a female to understand the complexities of the female body. Fear of the unknown is doubled when you don’t even know your own body.”
The End, flashes across the projector screen, and people start clapping. Randy actually stands, starting a standing ovation, while I stay slumped in my seat and clap.
After the applause ends, Randy starts devouring his hymen doughnuts, while Sticks and Taylor shove theirs away. “Two of my favorite snack foods have been ruined for eternity,” Taylor grumbles.
Britt goes to shake hands, while three out of four of us try to hide our faces as the room disperses.
“What are you doing?” I ask Sticks when he posts a picture from our trip to Mexico two years ago on the band’s website.
“Giving us an airtight alibi in case someone noticed us,” he mutters.
We leave Randy behind as he starts eating our hymen doughnuts.
“Yo, you tore your septate hymen,” Randy calls to my back, and the three of us walk faster, now pretending we don’t know him.
A woman stops, her thirteen-ish daughter next to her, and she frowns as she studies us.
“You look familiar,” she says, pointing at the three of us.
“Well, I don’t know who we remind you of, but I can promise we’re not The Fallen,” Taylor says, causing Sticks and I both to groan. “Heard those guys were in Mexico,” Taylor adds, obvious as fuck.
Her brow furrows. “I doubt The Fallen need quick anatomy tutorials designed for young girls,” the woman says. “You remind me of someone else, but I can’t figure out who...”
I breathe out a sigh of relief, just as Randy says, “Nurse, I need a ten blade! I’m going for the imperforate hymen doughnuts now.”
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Sticks groans, turning toward the back door and practically sprinting out.
I glance at Britt, gesture toward the back door, and actually sprint out as well when I see two cops walk in.
Holy fucking hell.
As soon as we get outside, Taylor says, “Well, you love a good surprise. Consider us even for absolutely fucking everything we’ve ever asked you to do.”
We stand silently for a moment, allowing ourselves to be a little horrified, then suddenly Taylor bursts out laughing. Sticks and I steadily join in, laughing increasingly louder as we lose control.
Randy bursts through the doors, several boxes of doughnuts in hand.
“Dude, Britt’s awesome. She gave us all the leftover hymen doughnuts we wanted.”
The laughter quickly dispels and turns into groans again.
“This day will never be forgotten,” Taylor deadpans.
