Page 70 of Treasured Secrets
I started to wriggle out of his grip as I chuckled nervously, but he didn't back away, nor did he laugh.
He put a hand against the side of my face and caressed my cheek, letting his heated touch stroke me all the way through my skin. He started coming in closer, and all I could think about was Tallis, how it felt like a betrayal.
It took all my strength not to wail out, sob until I choked on my emotion, but I refrained. I even managed to hold back the sniffle that almost escaped.
I didn't want Jared to be my first kiss. I wanted my first kiss to be with Tallis, but at the same time, I did feel some freaky connection with Jared. Was I just vulnerable? Or was I simply pathetic?
In all actuality, Tallis didn't want me. Jared did. Why couldn't I move past the one who ripped my heart out?
My head was riddled with confusion and worry. I knew it would only hurt him, but I couldn't in good conscience kiss him, even if it would spare him. I couldn't lead him on when I knew I was in love with Tallis.
Still, it would be so much easier to be with Jared. He wasn't fighting his feelings for me. Life apparently didn't wish to be easy.
Knots tightened in my stomach. I dreaded to end our intimate moment that had only just started. I worried he wouldn't understand.
"Jared... I can't do this." I put my hand on his chest and started pushing him away gently. "I'm so sorry."
I wanted to say more. I wanted to explain things better. I didn't want to hurt him, but it was just so hard to find the words, especially when I was strangling on my unshed tears. All the pain I had been ignoring was starting to crash down on me, begging me to let it flow out. I could do it though.
I was angry, hurt, and tortured, left to fall to pieces, but I hadn't really allowed myself to do such a thing. It was trying to catch up with me, but not here. Not now. I couldn't let it.
He backed away slowly with a look that let me know I had just ripped his heart out. It seemed like all I had done lately was hurt people. I had hurt McKee, confused Tallis, and now I was hurting Jared. I was such a mess, and I was dragging everyone down with me. Toxic. That's what I was.
I could hear the pain from my abrupt rejection in his voice when he quietly said, "I'll call Everett and tell him we're about to leave. Then I'll take you home."
He walked away from me quickly and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"Jared, I am sorry. I didn't mean to… Please forgive me."
He ignored me, continued on as if I hadn't said anything at all. A lone tear trickled down my cheek, and I wiped it away. I barely knew Jared, but he was acting as though I had just destroyed him. Had he linked to me, too? I hated this new life and all of its screwed up rules and consequences.
Everett was there within minutes. He walked up to where I was sitting, though I barely acknowledged his approach. The tears had finally started falling in a pattern. Hot and heavy drops flowed down my cheeks with no regard for my dignity.
"I just spoke to Jared, and he asked me to take you home. He said he had to go meet up with some of the militia," Everett said, sounding as gruff as usual.
I fought back the urge to roll my eyes as I wiped away my tears. "Of course he did."
I stood up in an aggravated manner and watched as Jared squealed out of the drive. I was so sick of all the drama.
We rode in silence for a while, an awkward, uncomfortable silence. Everett was the one to finally slice through the barrier of quiet.
"Are you okay? Jared didn't go into too much detail."
I huffed slightly. The last thing I felt like doing was confiding in Everett of all people.
"I created more drama, yet again. Shocking, I know. I think I'm broken or something. I don't know how this keeps happening."
So much for not confiding in him.
Even in the dark car, I could see the confusion that riddled his face. "What keeps happening?"
I destroy everything I touch.
"Somehow I led him on, and I shouldn't have. I think I hurt him worse than I did McKee." He slightly nodded, seeming indifferent to my screwed up confession. Then I rolled my eyes again. "You must think I'm terrible."
He shook his head, stoic in expression. "Not at all. You're just human... for now. It's much, much too easy to link to you. Things get messy when you're still mortal and aware of the immortal world. Especially with you."
My neck tried to snap when I whipped around to face him, suspicion oozing from my eyes. "Why do you say it like that? Especially with me?"
