Page 26 of Sinned

As I finished buttoning my cassock, I looked out the window again at the breezy day. I pulled on my white surplice, then delicately I picked up my purple stole and draped it around my shoulders. I checked the lengths matched and walked out the door.

Shortly after returning from Peru, I had moved into an upstairs apartment across the street from the church. It was over a small coffee shop that had the most heavenly baked goods. The owner, Evelyn, visited me every day and brought me food despite my telling her I could cook for myself. I sometimes asked how she managed to keep her shop open when there was no one in the neighborhood, but she said she was just happy to have another day to bake.

In the six years that I had been at Sacred Heart things hadn’t improved. The other clergy members and I tried fundraisers, clubs, anything we could think of to bring more interest to the old church, but people weren’t interested in driving there when they had St. Peter’s so close.

It was a shame because the city had once been so busy that both churches had a full attendance at every mass. Nowadays Sacred Heart had two Sunday masses and we were lucky if a dozen people attended.

As I walked down the steps that led outside, I caught a whiff of something that smelled like mango and it reminded me of Ava. It was strong enough to stop me in my tracks. Standing in the hallway, I closed my eyes and remembered every thing about her. Her laugh, her eyes, how the spot in between her eyebrows wrinkled when she was mad, and of course her touch.

It had been six years since I left her in Peru. Six years that I wished I had made a different choice. Not a day passed that I wasn’t thinking about something I wanted to tell her or how I missed her in my arms.

I pushed her out of my mind so I could focus on what I needed to do. I quickly crossed the street and went up the stone steps and went into the church. I hoped someone would come to confession and that the hour wouldn’t be wasted, but I knew from experience that wasn’t likely.

As I made myself comfortable on the wood bench, I wondered what happened to her. I remembered leaving her and making her promise to forget me and I hoped she did. I didn’t want to think of her living a life like mine where I built a wall around my heart. I hoped she found someone who loved her as much as I always did.

Not that I was unhappy, my life as a priest was good at Sacred Heart. I was very involved with the diocese and being able to stay near my family was a blessing. But I couldn’t help but wonder what if.

I made the sign of the cross and closed my eyes for a moment as I spoke to God. Please let her be happy. Please just give me a sign that I did the right thing.

The soft tap of a woman’s shoe caught my attention. I sat up as I patiently waited for her to enter and close the door of the confessional. After waiting a few seconds I slid the panel open, revealing the screen.

I stared ahead at the door as I waited for her to speak. When she didn’t I cleared my throat hoping she got the hint.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been...” she hesitated. “I don’t know how long it’s been.”

I sucked in my breath and shifted in my seat. I tried to look through the screen. Could it be her? Or did I finally go crazy? The woman sounded exactly like Ava. It had to be her. I wanted to tell her the words I never said before, but I needed to be sure I wasn’t insane.

“I met a man six years ago and...and I’ve never forgotten him,” she said.

I leapt to my feet and pushed the door in front of me open. I yanked open her door and stared into the confessional. Her hair was wind blown and reminded me of when she woke in the mornings. She was as beautiful as ever.

“Ava,” I said.

As I stepped into the confessional, she stood. My hands cupped her face as my lips closed over hers.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Charles

The warmth of her lips was enough to scramble the words in my head. For years I imagined what I would say if I ever saw her again, instead I couldn’t help but notice that her first words to me were that she broke the promise of her last words.

“You lied to me, didn’t you?” I said with a smile. “All those years ago I made you promise to forget me and you didn’t.”

“I did lie, I had to. I couldn’t be your second choice. I didn’t want you to regret staying with me.”

I kissed her again and her arms wrapped around me. We held each other for a few minutes before I kissed her forehead and raised her chin to look at me.

“Come with me,” I said as I took her hand.

We left the church and crossed the street. In the coffee shop window Evelyn smiled and waved, then closed the blinds.

“Do you know her?” Ava asked.

“She owns the building. I live in the apartment over the coffee shop. I’ll take you one day so you can try one of her cakes.”

“I did just before.”

“You were here?” I asked as I opened the door to the stairway. “I thought I was crazy for smelling your shampoo.”

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