Page 24 of She's the Star

When I finish with rehearsal, I head directly to Maddy’s nursery.

The door is shut, so I quietly twist the handle and slip inside. My feet are silent as I pad across the room, but either Maddy has a sixth sense, or I make some kind of noise, because her eyes pop open as soon as I reach the crib.

She screws up her face.

Before she can make a sound, I scoop her up and cradle her against my chest. For once, it’s the right choice, because she relaxes into my arms with a little sigh.

After a few minutes of cuddling, we head downstairs, where I find Nolan and Mina chatting in the kitchen. They fall silent when they spot us. He has one of the baby monitors sitting in front of him, which means he’s aware Maddy was asleep when I went to check on her. The urge to apologize overwhelms me.

“Sorry, I woke her up,” I say as I come to a halt at his side.

He gives another stir to the cup of coffee on the counter before turning his head to look at me. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I mean, I kind of do. You got her to nap, and then I went and woke her up.” As if making my point, Maddy drops her head onto my shoulder. “Waking her up is foolish and I should know better.”

He shifts so he’s fully facing me and reaches out to ruffle Maddy’s short blonde hair. Then, he takes the spoon out of the coffee and slides the mug over to me. I dart a glance at Mina, but she’s rooting around in the fridge. “You…you made me coffee?”

“I saw you on the monitor and figured you might like a cup.” He shrugs. “A splash of vanilla creamer, right?”

I stare at the coffee like I’ve never seen a mug of it before. “Um…yes. Thank you.”

“No problem.” His lips turn up, causing his dimple to appear. “And you really don’t need to apologize. Maddy was asleep for over two hours, and she’s obviously happy now. Plus, you’re her mother. You can wake her whenever you want.”

“Two hours?” This is the third day in a row he’s gotten her to take a two-hour nap, and I still can’t believe it. How does he do that? “I’ll be more careful.”

“It’s fine. I promise she was already stirring.”

I nod, still unused to having someone around to reassure me. “She had a good morning?” I ask as I slide onto the stool next to him and shift Maddy so she’s sitting in front of me.

“She did. We had to stay inside because of the rain, so we hung out in the playroom and read a bunch of books. When she seemed tired, I put her down for a nap?—”

“And she just went to sleep?” I interrupt, shaking my head at Maddy. “Why won’t you nap like that for Mommy?”

She chews on her fist like she has no explanation for why Nolan got her to nap twice on Friday and Saturday, plus once already today, while she’ll barely ever nap for me.

“Well…I gave her a bottle and rocked her a bit,” he says, as if that were the difference. He’s underselling his skills and we both know it.

I’m happy he’s already got her sleeping better, but a small part of me hates that he’s already so much better at all this than I am. It seems I owe him more than just a statue. “Good. That’s good. I’m glad she’s napping well.”

“She’s probably hungry again. I could heat up a bottle, or?—”

“I should nurse.” I’ve started the process of weaning her, and I’m down to three feedings per day, but it’s time for the midday feeding. It isn’t comfortable if I miss it, and I’m definitely feeling the heaviness in my breasts.

“Perfect.” He hesitates. “Before you do, I should probably tell you that Teddy is out in the pool.”

“He’s been here since ten.” Mina pops out of the fridge as if she had been waiting for the conversation to turn to Teddy. Her visible outrage makes it difficult to believe she didn’t interrupt sooner. “He said you told him he could stop by early if he wasn’t busy.”

“I did tell him that.” Six months ago.

When Maddy was born, he asked for a regular visitation schedule, because he was worried he’d forget to come see her otherwise. I told him he could stop by whenever he wanted on Sundays, but he insisted I give him a specific time, and until today, he’s always waited until then. Of course, the one day I need to speak to him right when he arrives is the one time he comes early.

“Did you meet him?” I ask Nolan as Maddy squirms in my arms. She gets a grip on my shirt with her slobbery hand and starts to tug it down.

Nolan nods and reaches out to extract my shirt. His knuckles brush the bare skin near my collarbone. I inhale unsteadily and lean closer as he slowly peels her fingers open with one hand and reaches behind him with the other. He smoothly replaces my shirt with her favorite stuffed bunny and then adjusts my collar.

I don’t move. I’m not even sure I’m breathing. It’s been so long since anyone’s touched me in a way that’s even remotely intimate, and my brain is having a hard time processing that Nolan was just helping me out.

Seemingly oblivious to my reaction, he settles back onto his stool. “We…uh…chatted by the pool.”

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