Page 58 of She's the Star

I drop my hands from my hips, relieved that he hasn’t done something unforgivable. “We aren’t getting back together,” I remind him.

He covers his face with his hands and mumbles between his fingers. “I know. But that isn’t the bad part.” His voice trembles. “I might have told her why we can’t get back together.”

“Because we’re wrong for each other? Because we don’t love each other like that? Because you cheated on me?”

He drops his hands. His eyes are watery like he’s trying not to cry.

“Not exactly.” And then words explode out of his mouth. “I told her that it’s too late. That I ruined my chances with you all those years ago. Which is true, right?” He takes a step forward and then shuffles back. “But then, I told her that you’re in love with Nolan and that you’re going to marry him and have more babies and I’ll be nothing but a sad and lonely formerly famous pop star who people pity because he squandered his only chance to have a family.” He hiccups. “I’m such an asshole.”

My mouth drops open, and my palms start sweating. Air rushes in and out of my lungs as I drop onto the sofa. Teddy told a nationally renowned reporter that I’m in love with Nolan.

In love.

With Nolan.

We’ve only been dating for a week. Although, as far as Teddy is concerned it’s been much longer.

I can’t believe I never once considered that he’d tell someone. He doesn’t think before he acts. He never has. I drop my head into my hands.

What am I going to tell Nolan?

Even though I’m not an athlete, Annabelle won’t hesitate to chase this story, and Nolan will hate being the target of speculation and gossip. How will our relationship survive?

Teddy comes closer and collapses to his knees in front of me. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Have you ever met Annabelle? She’s hot and she’s nice. We started chatting and suddenly I was telling her all this personal shit. When she asked about you, she was so sympathetic and kind that I found myself telling her about you and Nolan. She’s such a good listener that I couldn’t stop talking.” He sniffles. “How do I fix this?”

He can’t fix it. “Find Brian,” I say into my hands.

Teddy rises to his feet and scurries away while I try to take steady breaths.

As soon as this hits the news, everyone will know that Teddy betrayed me. Again.

My private life will be news. Again.

And Nolan will be at the center of a media frenzy that may not be very flattering—to either of us—especially if Annabelle sides with Teddy or if Teddy plays the spurned suitor.

How will I protect Nolan?

The press will dig into his life, and they’ll uncover personal details, like who his father is or what happened at his last job. He’ll hate the scrutiny and I’ll hate subjecting him to it.

I don’t want to lose him. And I don’t want to hurt him either.

I try to sit up so I can find my phone to see if the story has already dropped, but the world swims in front of me forcing me to lean forward, cover my face with my hands for the second time, and refocus on my breathing. I’m not prone to panic attacks, but in the early part of my career, I did occasionally get overwhelmed. My mother found me a therapist and I discovered a measure of relief with meditation techniques.

Deep and slow breaths. In and out.

It takes a minute, but when I start to calm down, I realize I can’t check my phone because I have no idea where Mina put it. She usually hands it to me when I come off stage, but she didn’t today because she wasn’t expecting me to take a break when I did.

Noise from the hallway causes me to sit up. Thankfully, this time, my vision and breathing are steady. A moment after I’m upright, Brian darts into the room with Mina close on his heels. They converge on me in a flurry of words, talking over each other so I can’t make out what they’re saying.

“Guys,” I interrupt, holding up my hand. “One at a time.”

“Are you okay?” Brian asks. It’s only the second time he’s asked me that, and the first was moments after we witnessed Teddy’s bare ass as he thrust into another woman.

“Yes.” I can handle this. “I need my phone,” I tell Mina.

She sets it in my hand, and I grip it tightly, not sure where to start. “Teddy told you what happened?”

Brian nods tersely. “I’m going to get Annabelle Singer on the phone.”

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