Page 45 of Secondhand Secrets

She swallowed at the thickness in her throat, those tight muscles refusing to remain silent while warning that her ensuing raspy voice would hold her raw emotions out for him to hear. “But you moved on eventually, didn’t you? And look at you now.”

She thrust a hand out to him. Out to his inordinately handsome exterior. Out to this man with a world of shiny promises clambering at his feet.

But the man, with all his promises, only deepened his frown, those overly astute eyes narrowing at her. “I wasn’t finished.”

He strode two paces closer, his larger torso caging her in between him and her car. “I never wanted to leave. That promise I asked Sarah to keep, it was an act of desperation, not a desire to hold you back, Ally. For a time there, whether you knew it or not, you and your friendship were my entire world. Now that I’m in Harlow again, do you know what I see every time I look at you?”

The question brought her inner world to a stunned stand-still, capturing her ability to move, much less offer an answer. What did he see when he looked at her? What did she see when she looked at him?

Don’t answer that. It’s a trick. Don’t answer him.

Both questions were loaded with pitfalls, two forbidden doors best left locked, so she compromised with a numb shake of her head.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, a sign of disappointment directed at her lack of effort. “It’s impossible not to look at you and wonder how different our lives would be if I’d never left.”

Cold shock returned, and she stumbled back, the frame of her car hitting her shoulder blades. Oh, that’s right, he had her trapped. But she didn’t want to imagine the alternative. All those lost years, found. Years where he stayed, and they…

They…

They… what?

“You really think we would have been together?” Her raspy tone remained, and she fought with her conscience.

Truth was, had she not met him again—years later and as a near stranger—the fickle part of her might have still wasted years dismissing him as just a friend.

He gave a small shrug, and a gentle smile tugged the corners of his lips upward, forever endearing, a clue he enjoyed knocking her off-center.

“Maybe, we would have been together.” He reached out and brushed her chin with his knuckle. “Though you probably would have dumped me the moment Dean came to town.”

A broken chuckle detached from deep within her, and an unexpected tear rolled down her cheek. Meanwhile, his smile grew wider, like he knew her.

He’d only just met the “grown-up” Ally, and still… he knew her.

She moved to swipe the heel of her palm over her wet cheek, but Chip got there first, shifting in closer and proving again that he would always be at least one step ahead of her.

Why does he like me? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, why does this man even like me?

All she wanted now was for him to kiss her. To drown out the dull ache in her heart and the questions swirling in her head.

Maybe she wasn’t quite up to his standards. Maybe she was a complete flake. But she’d never been called dishonest, so perhaps the truth would compensate for some of her flaws.

She lifted her arms and draped them around his neck. “I have to admit, all those years ago, I did begin to suspect you had a thing for me. I just… I didn’t know how I felt. More precisely, I was scared of how I felt.”

He lifted one brow in a wordless question.

She gave a weak shrug, face heating at her admittedly understandable immaturity at the time. “I don’t know, maybe because I’d begun to feel at least a little the same.”

He gave a rueful grimace, his gaze fluttering about her face before he replied, “Now, that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

His hands made contact with her waist, and she allowed her eyes to drop momentarily shut at the warm strength of his touch. “All I’m saying is, maybe there was just a smidgen more to me asking you to kiss me before you left.”

“Ally.” He growled her name in a soft warning.

But that warning, and the clear affect her admission had on him, had the power once more shifting in her favor. She didn’t even try to hold on to her next easy smile. “And another thing, I’m kinda glad you didn’t kiss me. Can you imagine two awkward teens, with way too many cringe-worthy years ahead of us, before we landed in the place we are now? Maybe we needed those years apart just to figure ourselves out.”

The low set of his brow lifted and genuine light entered his eyes, like he joined in her humor now, happy to let her lead. “And where are we now?”

As much as she pulled her grin wider, the attempt at being care-free faded, and the muscles in her throat crushed her voice to a soft whisper. “At a place where I can genuinely appreciate you.”

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