Page 60 of Secondhand Secrets

His head shifted in her lap from a nod, his eyes still shut, as though he preferred not to meet her gaze. “Both, but he was rude to you last night, and I regret you had to deal with that.”

She scoffed, and that wobbliness turned to an incredulous laugh. “You were rude too.”

His eyes flicked open. “He was worse.”

A frozen tension passed between them, but he eventually reached up and stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry. That’s a weak excuse. I don’t regret making him feel bad, but you’re right, I could have handled things better.”

She stayed silent for a while, just stroking his hair and allowing her frustration to dissipate a bit, though the pangs of doubt that dogged her since Chip’s return didn’t budge.

“Chip. what if this is all there is?” She caught his jaw’s mild slackening and his face turning hollow just below his cheekbones. “For me? For us?”

A harder set took over his brow, like he read her reference to his dad’s pestering her about her future, then Chip’s exaggerating her potential if his dad could only wait a little longer.

“Ally”—he launched to a seated position and cupped her face—“don’t let last night get to you, okay? Don’t let it affect how you feel about yourself. Or me. Please.”

She huffed out a sharp breath. “I wish controlling my feelings were that easy. I don’t know if there are things about me that need fixing or if I’m just the way I’m supposed to be, but when you and your dad push—”

“Oh, God. Ally. No.” His voice turned brittle, and his hands tensed at her face. “Whatever I said last night had everything to do with me and nothing to do with you. I’m the one who’s never been enough. Not in his eyes, anyway. I thought talking you up would get him to lay off. That I’d spare you feeling inadequate, and maybe he’d play happy family for just one night. Heck, I was so busy trying to salvage that illusion, I should have just told him to back off from the start.”

She held a quiet pause thinking over what he’d said, and although she’d already forgiven him, her mind stuck on the other details. “Why is he so hellbent on giving you a hard time?”

He gave a harsh laugh and let his hands fall away from her, his attention slipping to the grass between them. “Want to know what his real problem with you is?”

Her heartbeat caught, and her ability to speak dried with the sense that a truth bomb was about to explode. Still, she did want to know. “Tell me.”

“He sees history repeating, Ally.” His voice weak and raspy, his gaze lifted to her again, his pupils wide, and expression slack in a way that said the admission hurt him too. “He sees me as an extension of him, and right now, in his eyes, you’re my mom 2.0. The one who will bring it all down. The small-town girl forcing me to waste my potential in Harlow.”

She flinched at the comparison. A comparison she’d never really considered, but one that somehow rang true. Too true. And that truth bore deeper with each passing thought, a chasm seeming to open within her, painful enough to bring a sting to her eyes.

“Wow.” She tore her gaze from him and gave a rapid series of blinks, the open, sunny space around them suddenly not big or private enough. “Way to pour cold water on things.”

“Ally—” He reached for her, his forehead crinkled in a way that said he was only half-done, that he was about to get to the part where he would make her feel better about ruining his life, but then her phone rang on the grass beside her, and she held a hand up gesturing for him to stop.

“It’s Emilia, I have to answer.” She took a drawn-out and steadying breath, but the trembling sound wasn’t all that convincing. So she pressed the heel of her palm to her right eye to stem any possible tears.

On the phone, Emilia kept a bright and fast tone, all while Ally offered the excited laughs and engaged responses expected of her. Before long, her insistent tears flowed, and she hung up, squeezing her eyes shut against the confusing mix of sorrow and glee.

“I got the Argyle deal.” The words shuddered from her, and her heart beat faster.

Momentarily still, Chip stared back at her before his smile finally broke, and he pulled her into a full embrace. Even as he held her, her mind caught on that split second where he’d done nothing. His moment of doubt mirroring hers.

Things weren’t right here.

More and more, she couldn’t keep up, and everything she knew slipped unwillingly from her grasp. Chip. Harlow. Her burgeoning career. She couldn’t do it all. Couldn’t have them all.

He pulled back and swept his gaze over her face, his continued grasp on her arms denoting a yearning to hold on. “What happens next?”

She leaned out of his hold and frowned down at her lap. “I guess there’ll be contracts to sign once I get back to Harlow. Emilia will help me figure out how to honor the Argyle’s order. After that, I get straight to work making pottery.”

She wanted to peer up and feel the sense of release that she got from looking at him, but something had changed there too. No matter how much Chip meant to her, she wasn’t like him, and there was more that worked against this relationship than just living in different states.

She didn’t thrive on problem-solving. She was outgoing, but not adventurous. Like so many artists, she lived in her own head and moved at her own pace.

“Now who’s the overachiever?” He lifted her chin and forced her attention to his lighthearted grin. “I guess that means I really can’t mess up with Encode now.”

She laughed, acknowledging his point. For this super brief moment, she was ahead of him.

He shook his head, brows pinching together, as though he’d witnessed her earlier doubts playing across her face. “About before, I’m not him. Ally, you are more than enough. You are everything.”

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