Page 61 of Secondhand Secrets

A heavy weight pressed on her chest, and she tried to offer a reassuring smile. “Things are so new, Chip, let’s not—”

“No. Let’s.” He clasped her hands between his, his firm hold pleading that she listen. “Your business is picking up. Encode’s interest will at least shine a light on my work. We have than enough potential that’s worth exploring. Move to Boston with me. We’ll get an apartment. You’ll be closer to the city action and all that means for your art. If you really want to stay in Harlow, then we’ll make something work there too.”

“You mean, a long-distance relationship?” She raised a brow, ensuring he knew she didn’t love the idea.

“It’s not ideal, but—”

“It’s also not what I want.”

No. She’d spent her entire life dreaming of love, and having a relationship unfold via video calls and text messages wasn’t what she envisioned.

As for his offer to leave Boston, well, Harlow had no tech industry and his moving there wouldn’t be fair. So, the question remained, could she move away from Harlow?

“Ally, we work.” He paused to swallow and gave a hesitant nod, as though he second guessed what he planned to say. “And the truth is I—”

“Don’t say it.” Her heart clenched, his pause between phrases only making her demand more valid.

Whatever he felt, she felt too. The glowing hazel of his eyes said enough that words weren’t needed. And putting words to a thing made that thing real.

“Real” meant upending their lives. So, she didn’t want real.

Even if her heart already treaded deep waters, she didn’t want to hear that he loved her. And just thinking that he might, caused her pain.

Her attention dropped to the grass beneath her, the cheerful green and prickly blades under her fingers an insufficient distraction from her darker thoughts.

“Ally.” He said nothing more until she focused back to him. “If the Encode funding doesn’t happen, I’ll find a tech job somewhere else. It might not be as grand as having my own invention, but I’ll get us an apartment here or work remote from Harlow if I have to. We can—”

She shook her head, the act alone enough to make him stop.

“This is too much.” She shrugged, her throat tight and having reduced her voice to a twisting whisper.

His face tightened, his frustration now undeniable. “Too much what? Reality?”

Exactly that. Even though his question hit her like a literal blow to the gut, she gave him a side glare, warning him not to point out her problem with reality, major change being something she’d waited her whole life for, only to pike out now that it was here.

He rubbed a hand over his face, the strain there easing into something softer and more imploring. “This is what people do when they’re in—”

She held up a finger, another sudden warning for him not to say the thing she wasn’t ready to hear. “I know.”

He loves me. He loves me.

How long have I been waiting for someone to say that?

Only now, I don’t want any part of love.

Love meant leaving her family. Not seeing her parents, sister, or niece for long periods of time. Dealing with his dad, alone, because no one she knew would be around to help. Her small taste of this big intimidating world grew increasingly frightful, and what had Chip said about settling down and getting married? That he was a long way off wanting that. So what changed? And where did that leave her?

Too chicken to ask. That’s what!

Her eyes pulled wide, and her cheeks felt overly cold, once more she fought like hell to never again appear desperate and clingy. His lips spread into a small and knowing smile, perhaps seeing the humor in her evasion. So many had described her as “sunny,” but this guy shone in his own way, like he only ever let things bother him to a manageable degree. Meanwhile, she fought against scenarios that often didn’t even exist… to the point of complete and inescapable confusion.

He took hold of her hand and kissed the fingertip she’d tried to silence him with, the slow, intentional gesture speaking volumes. That he was everything she hadn’t known she’d wanted. Or needed. And while she twisted through each thought and worry, he merely accepted each one as a simple fact of life.

As if to catch her concern, he scooped her into his lap and unleashed a torrent of playful kisses all over her face, shifting the weight off this moment. She laughed and wriggled in his hold, all while his father’s sentiments seeped into her body and mind.

Here in Boston, she and Chip had painted a near-perfect picture of what life together would look like, the biggest downside being that Chip would give up everything to be with her. So a pretty damning flaw, really.

And yes, he did share more with his father than he wished to acknowledge. She could see Chip one day regretting her chaotic, overly idyllic, sometimes immature, nature. That these early moments of joy hadn’t been worth his professional and intellectual sacrifices.

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