Page 14 of All or Notching

I don’t hesitate as I nod my head. “I am. I do.” And I realize I mean it with all of my heart. Right now, I don’t think I could ever be happier. Seeing that blob on the screen, watching that little heartbeat, made this very unreal situation I’ve found myself in, the most crucial moment of my life. My mom and dad may not be here to watch their grandchild grow up, and this may not be happening like they would have hoped for, but I know they’re looking down and excited for me.

“I’m thrilled to hear that. I intend to be part of this child’s life; I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“I appreciate that,” I say.

“Why don’t we get out of here?” He checks the time. “I need to get back to the clinic and finish my shift. I’m working the next two days there as well, but I’ll check in with you at some point over the weekend. We’ll need to talk.”

I’m not sure what he means by that, but sure, why not. I’d like to know what’s on his mind, and personally, I need a little time on my own to absorb this.

Since we traveled to the hospital in separate vehicles, we said our goodbyes in the parking garage. A funny feeling rolls over me when I see him waiting until I pull out, and then he follows me until he exits toward the clinic. I turn my car toward home, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion.

A little while later, I pull into my driveway and use the automatic control to open my garage door, so I can drive straight in. With the door closed and the engine off, ticking as it cools, I sit there in the quiet. In a few short hours, my entire world turned upside down. Everything is up in the air with my plans and my career goals. I don’t even know where to start.

I’m going to be a mother.

I’m having a baby boy.

What will I call him? Will he look more like me or like Tristan? I hope he has Tristan’s hair and features.

How will this work? We live in the same city, so I can easily give him access to see the baby. I have a large enough home, so I don’t have to move. I’ll turn the smaller of the two spare rooms into a nursery.

What will we do for the holidays? And what happens when Tristan finds a wife? He’s so much younger than me; he’s probably still playing the field. How will I feel when my child goes to see another woman? Maybe many other women before he settles down and chooses one to spend the rest of his life with. I don’t think I like that.

Although I would like to talk to my sisters and get their input and suggestions, I’m not ready to share this news. While we’re close, we are drastically different. I’m the odd woman out. My sisters married their high school sweethearts and started their families immediately. I never had that urge. Maybe because the boy I dated in school was an asshole jock, who thought more of the points he’d score with his friends by taking my virginity than he did for how I’d feel about the uncomfortable, painful experience in the backseat of his car after the football game.

They never understood me prioritizing my career over a family. This baby will benefit from growing up with aunts, uncles, and cousins. He’ll experience holidays and special events surrounded by family. I just wish my parents were still alive to enjoy it and see that I made out okay. While I might not be doing this through the traditional route, they would still have supported me.

I don’t know about Tristan’s family. I don’t even know where he’s from. Does he have relatives nearby? God, I didn’t even ask him about his current relationship status. And while he wasn’t wearing a ring, for all I know, he’s breaking the news to a girlfriend, fiancé, or even his wife. We have lots to talk about.

There’s so much to work out. So much to do and plan for. I’ve got about five months to figure it out, including how much time to take off work. With that thought in my head, I climb out of my car, grab my briefcase and purse from the back seat, and then make my way into the house. I retrieve my phone from my bag and notice the number of messages waiting. Sally has been trying to reach me.

“Damn it.” I don’t want to call her, but I know Sally, and she’ll worry if she doesn’t hear from me.” I punch in her number.

“Laurel. Oh my god I was getting ready to call the police. You left hours ago, and I expected you home. You didn’t mention you had plans and there’s nothing in your calendar.”

“I’m sorry, Sally, I made an unexpected pit stop.”

“Well, I hope he was cute.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hope that you finally decided to let loose. Honestly, I really hoped that after you hooked up with that guy at the bar a few months back, you’d do it again. You need to get laid, Laurel. You’re too wound up. Sex is a great stress reliever.”

“Not exactly the advice my doctor would give.” I clap my hand over my mouth to smother my hysterical giggle.

“Doctors don’t know what they’re talking about half the time. Trust me, sex fixes everything.”

Unfortunately, sex put me into the situation I find myself in today. “Anything urgent?”

Sally’s dramatic sigh reaches through the phone. “I just wanted to remind you that you have an early morning meeting with the Coopers.”

“How early?”

“How does eight am sound to you?”

“Too early.”

We say our goodbyes after she agrees to push the meeting to nine, and then I hang up and head upstairs to my room. The first order of business is to get out of these work clothes and into something comfy. Then, I’ll address my empty stomach.

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