Page 12 of All or Notching

“No, not at all. But you are having your first child later than many women do. We’ll just do everything we can to ensure you have a happy, comfortable pregnancy and birth.”

“I’m not sure what I want to do, Tristan.”

Panic, unlike I’ve ever known, shoots through me. Cocking my head, making sure I’m at eye level with her so I can try to figure out where her head is at. “What do you mean by that?” The worst scenario is going through my mind while my heart for this unborn child I just found out about is sputtering.

“What do you think…Oh God, no, that’s not what I mean. I would never!”

The sense of relief is so overwhelming I nearly sag with it. I never imagined myself with children. But not because I didn’t want them. I simply figured my job would be demanding enough for a wife, but for kids? Maybe later in my career. Perhaps if I opened my own practice. My hours at the hospital and volunteering at this clinic take up most of my time. The night I met Laurel was an oddity. At the last minute, a colleague asked to switch shifts so he could attend a friend’s out-of-town wedding.

“Tristan, I plan to have this baby. I was going to say that I don’t know if I want to go to my physician about this. He’s been our family doctor for years. He knows my sisters. I’m not sure I’m ready to announce this to the world yet.”

“Well, if the calculations are correct, you won’t have much longer until they figure it out for themselves. I’m not an OBGYN, but I can treat you for the time being. If there’s any signs of trouble, though, I’ll need to refer you to somebody who can help.”

She’s nodding enthusiastically.

“Okay, give me a few minutes, and I’m going to see if I can call in a favor at the hospital to get us that ultrasound.”

“But it’s late. I’m sure they’ve gone home.”

“Don’t worry. I know people.”

“Okay. Just let me know when and where, and I’ll do that. I’ll let you know what I find out.”

“No need.”

She glances at me sharply.

“I’ll be with you.”

“But—

“I will be with you every step of the way, Laurel.”

CHAPTER 5

Laurel

Sixty minutes later, I’m on my back in a darkened room with cold gel smeared over my belly, trembling uncontrollably. It’s late, I’m starving, and now that I know what’s been causing my sickness and fatigue, I’m even more tired. I must look like a mess. All I want to do is go home, curl up on my sofa with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, and figure out the next steps.

Standing next to the bed, Tristan peers down at me. “Are you okay? Are you cold?”

“No.” The word is pushed through my clenched teeth. I inhale, working to calm my frazzled nerves. “I don’t like hospitals.”

The technician is on my other side, manning the equipment. “This won’t take long,” she assures me.

She’s pretty. And she looks fantastic for finishing a complete shift in a hospital.

They’re laughing.

I clench harder, hurting my jaw.

This is so unlike me. I’ve never been jealous of anybody. Well, maybe Frank from the third grade. I didn’t like that he and Becky Hoffman spent so much time together.

“Okay, let’s see what we have here.” Ms. Pretty moves the wand over my stomach, hits a key on the keyboard, and a black-and-white image appears on the monitor. I can’t see anything. It’s all blobs and lines, some darker, some lighter. She stops, presses down into my tummy, and then moves on to the next area. She pauses every now and then and hits more keys on the computer keyboard.

Her silence is killing me. I’ve got my eyes glued to the screen, trying to discern anything. I just see odd shapes, one of which is pulsing.

“How’s everything look?”

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