Page 82 of Art of Sin

36injustice

Gideon sitsin the dark living room, a glowing clove dangling from his fingers. His head lifts as my footsteps register, but he doesn’t look at me.

“The opening is tomorrow.”

“I know. I’ll be there.”

He sinks back, head falling to a cushion. The end of the clove flares as he takes a long drag.

“When I realized you were gone, I wasn’t surprised. Not after the way you shut down last night. Why did you come back?”

Because I love you.

I’m selfish.

Damned.

My voice rides currents of regret, “I don’t have to leave yet.”

“When?” he asks through clenched teeth.

God, I can’t do this.

Please…

But maybe I’m not as selfish as I thought, because I’m going to sacrifice his love and trust to keep him safe.

“After the opening.”

A short, rough laugh. “Poetic. A worthy, dramatic climax to our affair. You’re not going to tell me where you’re going, are you?”

“No.”

He sucks on the clove. Blows an angry cloud upward. “I should be glad, you know. If I were a better man, I’d be happy you were going somewhere far, far away from here. But I’m not. I want to lock you in a room and keep you, so I guess I’m no better than that man who—”

“Gideon, no,” I gasp, rounding the couch. He stares at me like I’m the only answer in a world of questions. Like I’m everything to him.

It almost destroys me.

“You’re nothing like him. Nothing.”

His gaze takes in my black clothes and boots, my makeup-free face. “Nice to meet you, the real Deirdre.”

I flinch, then force a tight smile. “I deserved that.”

He shakes his head. “No, you didn’t. I guess there’s no point in asking if we can leave together? Find some faraway exotic place to live out our lives away from all this?”

It hurts. God,it hurts to stay silent, to hear his defeated sigh.

“I knew you didn’t feel it like I did,” he murmurs with a sardonic laugh, “but I couldn’t help myself. I know I should regret the last month, but I don’t.”

If heartbreak has a song, it’s his words—the absurd notion that I don’t love him like he does me, that this isn’t the hardest decision I’ve had to make since the night I spared a madman’s life.

I will make it right.

And I won’t let Gideon or Nate pay the price of my weakness.

Tears thicken my voice, “I’m sorry.”

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