Page 60 of The Fall Before Flight

White noise roars in my ears. “What do you mean, not coming back?”

“Declan overheard him saying something about Dr. Reynolds starting immediately.” He gazes toward the horizon. “Shit, I really hope his kid is okay.”

So do I.

But there’s an insidious voice inside me that won’t shut up, and it’s convinced there’s nothing wrong with Leo’s son. Nothing at all. What’s wrong is what we did. Who he let me see. What he offered and what I gave in return.

The only thing wrong is me.

Oasis finally comes into view, all the glass shimmering like a mirage in the afternoon sun. I don’t remember the hike except for Tiffany forcing me to drink water from her canteen a few times. I don’t feel the heat, don’t feel the blister on my right heel. Don’t feel resentful, confused, afraid, or crazy.

If there’s anything floating through the white haze of my mind, it’s resignation. Acceptance. Thanks to Leo Chastain, I’ve lost the ability to lie to myself. I shattered him—just like I wanted to—and it doesn’t feel good at all.

I was wrong in worrying he’d blame me. I know that now. When Leo snapped out of his moonlight-induced madness, he likely choked on shame and self-loathing. No doubt he’s taking 100 percent of the blame onto himself. It’s who he is. I’d expect nothing else from a man who carries around guilt for his brother’s suicide—which he had absolutely nothing to do with and no control over.

In his mind, he broke the most sacred rule in his book. He lost his precious control and jeopardized not only his career but my treatment.

Truth tastes like ash on my tongue.

It’s my fault.

I did this to him.

“Hey, space-cadet.”

I look at Declan, whose silent presence has been beside me for a while. “Yeah?”

“Whatever you’re thinking, it can’t be that bad.”

A spike of misplaced anger shoots through me. “Just because we fucked a thousand years ago doesn’t mean you know me.”

Shock drops his mouth. “Whoa, what the hell? I was just being nice.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Fatigue and hunger whiten my vision momentarily. “I don’t feel that good.”

“Want me to take your bag?” he asks.

We’re close enough to Oasis now that I can see the single figure standing just inside the open front doors. He turns fast and disappears, but I know it’s him.

I unsling the duffel from my back, then shimmy out of my backpack. “Yes, actually. Can you drop my bag at my cabin?”

Looking confused and concerned, Declan nods and grabs the bags. My body feels immediately lighter. Faster.

Fast.

I take off running, ignoring the shouts behind me. Closer… closer. My sneakers hit the asphalt driveway, but I don’t slow. Not on the stairs, which I take in one leap. Not when the sudden shade and cool air of the facility shocks my system. The Fish Tank is empty now, but I know where he is.

I don’t stop running until I’m at his door. Don’t knock before I wrench it open.

“Leo—” His name stutters and dies in my throat.

A woman sits behind the desk. Leo turns slowly from the wall where he’s removing the frames with his credentials. His eyes meet mine blankly, then veer to the woman.

“Gretchen, meet Amelia Sloan.”

Neither comment on the fact I’m panting, drenched in sweat, and covered in dirt from my run.

“Are you all right, dear?” asks Gretchen.

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