Page 44 of Born into Blood

“It’s not ending, kisa. It’s just beginning.”

His fingers run through my hair, lulling me into a peaceful haze that I never want to leave. I feel safe with him, safe and protected, and that’s something I’ve never felt before. I’ve always had to be the strong one at home, the one who took care of my mom and dealt with all the shit that goes along with that, but no one’s ever just held me and made me feel safe and taken care of. I never want it to end, and I’m terrified that it will, that he’ll change his mind and realize he can do a thousand times better than me, or that he’ll see my scars and be disgusted, or leave when he hears the truth about my mom and her delusions about his family.

He taps one finger gently against my temple. “I can feel you already starting to doubt everything, and I’m going to need you to stop doing that.”

I snuggle in closer and kiss his stubbled cheek. “I’ll try.”

“What can I do to make it easier to believe me?”

“Don’t disappear on me,” I whisper against his neck.

“I would never do that.”

Resting my palm against his cheek, I breathe in his scent and kiss the tattoo beneath my lips. “Promise me this isn’t just a game and that it actually means something to you.”

“Hey, look at me.” He scoots his head back, cupping my cheek and tilting my face so he can see me. His gaze is unwavering and his voice strong when he says, “If I didn’t think it would scare the hell out of you, I’d tell you exactly how I feel about you and what I see our future being, but since this is only our first date, I’ll just say that I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

Leaning closer, he ghosts his lips over mine and whispers, “I can still taste your pussy on my tongue, kisa, and that means something to me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever kissed.” I feel him smile and the soft exhale of his breath as he gives a soft laugh and adds, “Anywhere.”

His green eyes find mine again, and he drags the back of his knuckles along my cheek. “And that also means something to me.”

He’s so fucking sweet, and guilt hammers at my chest, suffocating me with the weight of my secrets. I’m not ready to show him my arms, but there’s no way in hell I can keep the rest from him.

“I have to tell you something,” I whisper, scared that he’s going to stop looking at me like I’m something precious, that his beautiful eyes will turn hard and uncaring once he hears the truth about my mom.

“You can tell me anything, Lara.”

My voice is still nothing but a shaky whisper when I say, “I didn’t tell you everything about my mom. I told you she’s not well mentally, and that’s true, but there’s more to it than that.”

I keep my hand on his chest, needing to feel the heat of his skin beneath my fingers, using him as my anchor while I tell him the rest.

“I’ve been told my whole life that my dad was this amazing guy who was cruelly murdered when my mom was pregnant.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” he starts to say, but I shake my head.

“You don’t understand. My mom always said it was the Melnikov Bratva that did it. She hates your family and blames them for everything.”

“What?”

“I know she’s delusional, and I’ve always believed that my dad was probably some loser who got her pregnant and then deserted her and that she built up this elaborate story to make herself feel better, to give herself someone to blame.”

“What was his name?”

There isn’t any anger behind his words, and he’s still looking at me with that same sweet look, so I keep talking.

“She’s always refused to tell me. She insisted it wasn’t safe for me to know, but the other day I asked her, and she told me his name was Osip Lebedev.” I’m surprised when I feel a lump in my throat and my eyes start to water. “My last name isn’t even Swan. Everything my mom has ever told me has been a lie.”

Luka cups my face and kisses me. “I’m sorry,” he whispers against my lips, “but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. My family has made a lot of enemies over the years, but the name Lebedev isn’t familiar to me. All this would’ve happened around the time I was born.”

He’s quiet as he thinks, but his thumb keeps stroking my skin, a gentle touch that reminds me nothing has changed between us.

“I’ll ask around, see what I can find out.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Luka. I think my mom just fixated on your family for some reason.”

He gives me a small smile. “That explains why you didn’t want her to see me.”

“Well, that and I’m a little embarrassed. She sometimes decides that it’s necessary to put foil on all the windows so the evil Melnikovs can’t find us.”

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