Page 10 of Paladin's Hope

It might be that latter. The White Rat’s tame paladins were helpful, sometimes. One had been instrumental in cracking the problem of the smooth men. But they also had served the god known as the Saint of Steel, and when their god had died, they had run mad. Even now, people treated them as not-quite-tame beasts who might suddenly turn and bite. The fact that no one knew why the god had died didn’t help.

Mind you, if you could bring me a body, I could probably find out what His last sensations were…

Piper had never said as much. He might spend more time with the dead than with the living, but he wasn’t completely lost to all tact. Also, did gods even have bodies?

Mallory grunted, and it occurred to Piper that the issue might be much less complicated. The Rat’s social workers certainly did a great deal of good for the people that the guard was supposed to be protecting. But one of the Rat’s chief duties was providing legal counsel, and guards did not much care for that at all. Depending on which way the wind was currently blowing, the guard captain might simply be annoyed at the Rat and anyone associated with it, including Piper.

“If you’re quite finished…” said Mallory, apparently deciding to move things along.

“I’m not, actually. Pala—Galen, can you turn the body over for me?”

“Of course, love.” Galen released him and bent to roll the corpse over. Piper know that the love was purely to make the act look better, but he felt the blush reach his ears anyway. He would never call anyone love in public. It wasn’t his nature. Also, this is fake. Also, he’s really goddamn good-looking.

That hair. Really deep red, not the ferocious carrot color most people got stuck with. And his eyes were probably actually hazel but that much red really drew out the green in them. And he had freckles—was there a redhead alive without freckles?—but only a few dusted across his skin and that was deeply unfair, given what your average redhead had to deal with. Were there other freckles elsewhere on his skin? Where? How far down did they go?

Piper stared at the body on the ground and thought fixedly about fish eating someone’s genitals.

The corpse didn’t look much better from the back, but then, they never did. Piper took more notes than he would ever use, even if he were writing a monograph, just to see if he could outlast Mallory. Earstripe stood in solemn silence. So did Galen.

Eventually, he had to admit that Captain Mallory was willing to wait quite a long time to give Earstripe a dressing down. He put his notebook away and nodded to the gnole. “Thank you so much for informing me. This will be very valuable.”

Earstripe nodded. Piper turned to Galen. Say something convincing. “I appreciate you humoring me. Would you like to walk me back home, then?”

“Naturally,” said Galen. “We can get that breakfast you promised me.” He winked. They strolled arm in arm away from the river, and made it nearly to the street before they heard Mallory’s voice raised behind them.

Six

“Think Earstripe will be okay?” asked Piper, as they walked. They were still arm in arm, which Piper had apparently forgotten, even though Galen hadn’t. There was more muscle lining the doctor’s forearms than he would have expected. Well, he’s out there sawing through ribcages. That’s got to take a certain amount of strength.

“I hope so.” Galen grimaced. “I know he was going behind Mallory’s back, and no commander appreciates that.”

“You think he believed us?”

“What, that we’re screwing like crazed weasels?”

Piper blushed again. Galen didn’t know whether to feel guilty or crow with triumph. Stop. That’s unkind. He might not even be interested in other men. Galen would bet his eyeteeth that wasn’t the case, but you did find some men who wouldn’t admit to it, for whatever reason. Really, though, how often do you find a grown man who blushes like a maiden? It’s adorable.

“I meant,” said Piper, withdrawing his arm from Galen’s, “that Earstripe called us because I’m writing a monograph.”

“Oh, he absolutely thinks we’re lying, but there’s just enough chance we’re not, and he’s a fair enough man, that Earstripe will get out of the worst of it. He’ll pretend he’s coming down on Earstripe for not informing him that you wanted to see the bodies though.”

“How is that fair?”

“For a policeman, that’s about as good as it gets.”

The doctor scowled. “I do not like policemen.”

Galen raised an eyebrow. “I thought you worked with them a lot.”

“How else would I know them well enough to dislike them?” Piper shook his head. “I prefer working with your people, honestly.”

“Paladins?”

“The White Rat. Although I suppose paladins, too. At least you’ve got a god in your head who will stop you if you decide to rough people up.”

Galen said nothing. He had not had a god like that since the summer solstice five years ago, when the Saint of Steel had died. It seemed like a good time to change the subject. “Would you like to get breakfast?”

Piper gave him a quick, startled look. Galen spread his hands and attempted to look charming and harmless, which was a bit of a struggle when you were carrying a sword longer than the other person’s thigh.

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