Page 43 of Picking Pismo

Adjusting her napkin on her lap, Kelly asked, “David, can you pass me the gravy?”

“Sure,” David stopped eating and reached for the gravy, holding it out to Kelly. She took it from him and covered her meat with it. “Thanks again, Mom, for making my favorites.” He took another bite of the carne asada.

Stephen grabbed another corn on the cob, placing it on his plate. “Yes, thanks honey.” Next, he added some toppings to his baked potato. “It’s delicious.”

Kelly smiled, waving off their compliments. “My pleasure.”

They ate for a few minutes in silence. Outside on the patio, the ocean waves competed against the squawking seagulls. David enjoyed the view, wishing for the serenity of the water to wash away his feelings of emptiness. It didn’t. David missed Claire, and Alexis too.

Three weeks. They left three weeks ago, and time had moved so slowly David wondered if it was moving backwards. He couldn’t even get lost in work, which was a first. Work always pushed out the noisy chaos in his life. Not this time. This was different. The void couldn’t be filled with anything. And it was his fault. If he hadn’t flipped when he saw Lauren, he might not have pushed Claire away. He might have found a way for them to be together, even if there was some physical distance at first.

Breathing in the tangy salt air, David hoped for the tightness in his chest to settle.

Suspiciously, Kelly eyed him up and down midbite. “What’s up with you? You seem…” She waved a hand in his direction. “Off. No offense, but you look terrible.”

“Thanks?” Shifting in his chair, David cut into his meat, ignoring Kelly. Pushing up his chin, he replied, “I’m perfectly fine.” He shoved the meat into his mouth and reverted his gaze to the ocean.

A myriad of emotions ran through him, but he wasn’t sharing them.

Silence. Only the pulsating beat of his heart sounded in his ears.

Breaking the pause in the conversation, Stephen asked, “Are you still hung up on seeing Lauren? Kelly told me how you saw her a few weeks back.” He raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me you aren’t dwelling on Lauren again, because I think you’ve punished yourself enough when it comes to her.”

David scoffed. “No,” he firmly said. “I’m not hung up on her.” His jaw clenched tightly.

He wasn’t hung up on Lauren, he was hung up on how she made him feel. Like he wasn’t worth loving. Like he didn’t deserve her, nor anyone for that matter.

Kelly shook her head, taking a bite of her baked potato. “David…” Her voice trailed off. She pulled her gaze from David to the ocean.

Stephen reached over, giving David’s shoulder a squeeze. “David, when are you going to stop letting Lauren ruin your life? It’s time, son. Time to move past her and allow yourself to be happy.”

Aggressively, David wiped his face with his napkin then tossed it down with gusto. He shook off Stephen’s hand. Pushing out his chair, David said, “I don’t know, Dad. I guess I’ll do that when it stops hurting so much.” He stood, grabbing his half empty plate. “I’m getting the dessert out of the fridge.” David turned to Kelly. “You made pie, right?”

Kelly nodded, gazing right through him to his broken heart. He hated how well Kelly knew him, and how without saying anything she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Great,” David pivoted and left, wandering into the kitchen.

Once inside the solitude of the kitchen, David placed his plate in the sink. Gripping the countertop with both hands, he forced himself to calm down by taking several deep breaths. He wished he didn’t still feel this way. Like a rejected loser whose wife up and left him because she didn’t love him anymore. Was he that pathetic? Was he such a horrible person to be around? His mind whizzed with the familiar catalog of his blaringly obvious faults. If Claire knew the real him, she’d know he did her a favor by cutting her loose.

Swinging open the fridge, David willed his dark thoughts of inadequacies away. After locating the pie, David took it and some more plates and a knife back out to the patio.

His parents had finished eating. They whispered to one another, but they stopped suddenly as he walked through the sliding glass door. David knew he was the topic of their private conversation. No doubt, they were worried he might never rebound from his divorce. Heck, even he wondered if it was possible.

David held up the pie and plates. “I’ve got the pie.”

“I can see that.” Kelly’s lips formed a tight line. “Are we going to talk about what just happened?”

“Not a chance,” David sat down, placing the pie and plates on the table.

“Fine, if that’s how you want it.” Kelly grabbed the pie, dragging it across the table so she could cut into it. “On another vein, and not to get you upset again, I wanted you to know I offered up our house for Claire and Alexis to stay at while they come down next weekend to get Alexis’s braces adjusted.”

Inhaling, David leaned back in his chair, cupping the back of his head with both of his hands. “How did you even know they were coming into town?” He raised an eyebrow.

Slapping the first piece of pie on a plate, Kelly held it out to Stephen. Stephen took the pie and placed it in front of himself. Kelly cut into the pie again.

“Sarah mentioned it when we saw her at the grocery store last week,” said Kelly.

Shaking his head, David rubbed the back of his neck. “I should fire her for giving out that information.”

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