Page 65 of City of Love

“Please, Gideon. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Make the decision for me!”

His eyes flew open wide, his mouth parting on a fast intake of air. She was handing him his future on a silver platter. He simply had to tell her to do it and she would. It could be that easy.

And the absolute wrong thing to do.

“I love you, Alexa Cross, more than you can possibly imagine. Which is exactly why I can’t tell you what to do. You must make this decision for your—”

A white noise filled his ears, a void that spread from a sound in his head to a huge empty space in his gut, like someone had scooped out his insides and left him hollow.

“Lexi? Are you there?”

She’d cut him off. He didn’t actually see a brick wall, so maybe it was simply their emotions keeping them from connecting, but this was different than the other times they’d been unable to connect. This felt final. Like a limb had been chopped off.

And he’d give anything to have it back.

“Are you there?”

Nothing but a white emptiness.

To say she was stunned would be a ludicrous understatement. His sudden disconnect had come as a fist to her solar plexus, bending her double and forcing a choked, gasping sob from her.

What just happened?

She fell onto her knees in the middle of her bedroom, crying in huge gulps, her hands futilely trying to keep pace with her tears and snot, though the more she wiped, the more they kept coming.

“Gideon, come back! I haven’t said no yet. Let’s talk about it. I’ll come over there. Do you want me to come over there? To talk?”

But there was nothing. Actually, it was worse than nothing. She didn’t see a brick wall, but maybe that had been a figure of speech, because she felt his absence in the most tangible, solid way, like her insides had been scooped out and she was left as a hollow shell. She folded into a fetal position on the floor, gripping the carpet and shaking.

After a few minutes, Dexter came over and sniffed around her, lending his furry support. She scooped him up and snuggled him to her chest, his purring helping only the tiniest bit as she carried him into the kitchen. She set him down and then swallowed a glass of water.

Shocked as she was by Gideon’s sudden disconnect, after what she’d seen of his past, she understood. He was hurting and scared, and she couldn’t help him. Because the truth was, she was unprepared to make this life or death decision right now, and he was right, it wasn’t his job to make it for her. Though this was the last possible way she’d ever want to end her relationship with him, she loved him enough to give him the quick amputation he obviously needed.

She picked up her cell and dialed Margot, but got only voicemail. She didn’t bother to leave a message. Instead she went into her bathroom and splashed water on her face. It wasn’t enough. She got into the shower and let hot water pour over her back while she leaned her forehead to the tiled wall and cried. She stood like that, leaning and crying, until the water ran cold.

CHAPTER 28

Lexi sat at her kitchen table across from Margot, a pair of hummus and cucumber sandwiches in front of them. A less than thrilling lunch, but until she found herself a new job, her penny-pinching was in full force. In the three weeks since her disconnect from Gideon, she’d forced herself to move forward with life in her own world. Her newfound control over her visions was actually turning out to be an aid in her job hunting, as she could get a glimpse of her interviewer before setting foot in the office door.

Her precognition still told her nothing about the transition process, however, and she’d finally stopped trying. What was the point? She’d passed the deadline laid down for her decision, and besides, Gideon had cut off their communication for a reason.

More times than she could count, she’d considered begging Matthew to let her secretly cross over so she could talk to him in person. But she’d experienced Gideon’s distress before their connection was lost in that last, horrible conversation, and she loved him far too much to add to his pain when there was really nothing more to be said.

Margot picked at her food, pinching off little pieces of wheat bread but never actually putting them in her mouth. She rarely looked up from her phone, seeming as preoccupied with her own thoughts as Lexi was with hers.

Lexi pushed her plate away. “Problems with the club? You’ve barely stopped texting since you got here.”

Margot blinked at the phone once more before putting it down. “Sorry. I’m being rude. And you’ve got a job interview in an hour, right?” She gestured toward the skirt and blouse Lexi wore. “Let’s catch up before you need to run.”

“Is everything okay? You seem concerned. Is it the club or Matt?”

She shrugged. “A little of both, I guess. Now that the portals are closed, we’re operating a regular after-hours club, but Matthew’s rarely around. He’s busy helping Gideon research the Prometheus Group. He’s pretty much left the running of Taco Shots to me.”

“And that bothers you?” Knowing her best friend as she did, she would have thought she’d be thrilled to have the reins in her own hands. Maybe it was more of a relationship issue after all.

Margot picked up the cell again, her thumb sliding across messages before she set it back down. “I just don’t understand why he insists on spending any time helping Gideon with this thing. I mean, with the portal closed anyway, what’s it to him? It’s a completely separate universe. It’s not exactly our problem anymore, is it?”

Lexi raised her brow, a ripple of defensive tension tightening her gut. “Maybe Matthew cares about his friend. They worked together for years. Maybe he wants to do what he can from this end to help out the man who’d been his partner for so long.”

---