Page 72 of City of Love

A shot of adrenaline ripped through her veins. “Why? Why do you say that? I mean, the part about him pining, not the dead part. Cuz, yeah, you’d be dead.” She giggled at the idea of Gideon hearing that.

“I’m a guy. A dude knows when another dude is smitten with a chick.”

“Well how do you know I’m the chick?”

“Lexi, he asks about you every time he’s here. Gives me the goddamned third degree. Where are you working, what are you doing? Hell, he even asked about your parents and what you told them about the situation. He’s worried they might be pissed at him. Can you freaking believe that? I’m telling you, he’s pining. But his word is true. He wants you safe first and foremost. So, if you haven’t had a vision...” He shrugged.

She slunk back into the couch, her heart pounding so hard she put a hand to her chest. And a once familiar excitement flooded her limbs. Delicious little butterflies fluttered in her tummy. Not that anything really changed. The visions still kept their secrets, but just the confirmation that he thought about her as much as she did him changed the color of her world. “Wait, you said he’s been coming over here? Why? I figured with the portal closed he’d have no reason to be around much.”

“We’re still digging around the Prometheus Group, though nothing new has turned up, and like you, all the clairvoyants in his world are seeing nothing but peace and quiet for now. But he can’t let it rest, and I don’t blame him. Like Margot said, PG is big, they’re worldwide, and they’ll be back at some point.” At the mention of her name, his face fell and the twitch in his hand started up. He shoved it into his lap. “Anyway, I think he likes being in this world now and then, knowing you’re nearby.”

She leaned back against the plush suede sofa, turning her head to stare out the big windows at the glowing city below. It was a lovely sight, but what was the point of such beauty if she couldn’t share it with the man she loved? What if she went to law school, found the perfect career, had all the success she desired but couldn’t run home at the end of the day and share it with him? “What have you been telling him when he asks all those questions about me?”

“I’ve been telling him the only things I know… or… I thought I knew anyway,” he said. “I’ve been telling him you’re working, living your life and doing really well. Lex, what are you thinking? Do you want to go to him?”

Her eyes grew wet, and she didn’t care if Matthew was watching. “Yeah, I think maybe I do. I can’t be happy here anymore. I can succeed now, but that’s not the same thing, is it? I’m finding it harder and harder to make sense of this world, and I can’t be myself. I’m back to hiding who I am, and it hurts now more than ever. I can be who I’m meant to be over there. I have something to offer in that world. And…”

“And Gideon.”

“And Gideon. Mostly Gideon.”

“What about the transition process? You still don’t know what will happen. The risk is still there. You could die, Lex.”

“I know.” She pulled herself up to sit straight on the sofa, wiping her eyes. “I just… Everything is so damned lifeless and gray without him that—”

Then she recalled something, and the memory landed on her head like an Acme anvil dropped by Wile E. Coyote. She remembered Roberto, the day he came to her apartment to tell her about the transition process. He’d said, “To have love and walk away from it because of fear commits you to a darkness worse than death.” And Margot’s words in her last moments. “He’s your most important thing.”

She smiled, her heart having made the decision a split second before her mind. A calm swept through her. “Margot was right. It’s worth the risk.”

He laughed, his face light for the first time in weeks. “Margot made a shitload of bad decisions, but I do think she’s right about this one.”

“Do you think he’ll agree with me? Or will he demand I stay here?”

“I don’t even think you need to ask him, Lex,” he said, reaching for the popcorn bowl and the television remote once again. “Just go tell him you’re coming.”

CHAPTER 31

To say she was nervous was an understatement. Her breath came shallow and fast as she waited for Matthew to send her across the portal. Though confidant now in her own decision, she’d still have to convince Gideon to go along with the choice. Part of her worried that Matt was wrong, and that he had, in fact, already gone on with his life, no longer prepared to have her join him. Or that he’d stand firm in his decision. But she’d have to accept it would all unfold how it was meant to whether she saw it in her visions or not.

She ran a hand down her front, breathing in for calm as she waited for the vibrations to begin, the soft linen of her tunic cool against her palm. She’d purposely dressed in the style of his world. A visual sign that she’d made her choice. The long-sleeved off-white tunic was cinched at her waist with a wide leather belt. Dark wool leggings disappeared into knee-high laced leather boots, and because it was winter, a soft leather, dark brown duster made the top layer, reaching almost to the floor. It hadn’t escaped her notice that the few luxuries she indulged in now that she had a good income again were most often items that felt like his world.

She’d left the top buttons of her tunic undone, and between her breasts lay a rose quartz pendant he’d given her, hung on a silver chain. Yeah, she looked hot. And she’d use every bit of ammo she had to convince him of her decision.

Being a weeknight, and with the portal itself closed, she had no idea if Gideon would even be there. The club was fairly empty when she arrived in the main salon. A guard sat keeping an eye out for unscheduled portal use, but he simply nodded at her when she appeared. After the sad day in the mews, Catherine Moss had thanked her for twice helping rescue citizens of their world, and she let it be known that Lexi would be welcome in their world at any time should she ever change her mind and decide to go forward with the transition.

Lexi glanced quickly around the room, not surprised that Gideon was nowhere in sight. She hadn’t reached out to him telepathically, because this was a conversation that needed to take place in person.

The bartender spotted her and waved. “Hey, Lexi. Haven’t seen you around in a while. What brings you across?”

“Hi, Duncan. I’m looking for Gideon. Any chance he’s here in his office?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” he said. “He’s only been in and out briefly during the last few weeks. Been spending long hours working with a bunch of scientists. Something to do with portal protection.”

“Oh,” she said, pulling out a bar stool and considering her choices. “Okay.”

“If you want, I can send a messenger to him, let him know you’re here.”

At this point, she’d either get a welcome reception to her decision or not. Might as well reach out to him herself and find out. “No need, thanks. I’ll go ahead and… you know,” she fluttered a hand by the side of her head.

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