Page 45 of Milk & Cookie

We adults are keenly aware of it, but we silently agree to disguise the unease so the children won’t notice it; it’s not for them to feel. The chatter remains upbeat and jovial, but no adult topics are discussed until they’re fast asleep in their beds.

We sit around the big table, sipping our herbal teas in silence.

“He smells like you,” Mom says eventually, without looking at me.

“Good. I want him to.” I press my face to his big bicep and breathe him in. “He also smells of dirt, hard work, and sunshine. Did you see the gardens on your way in?”

Mom nods and keeps her gaze low.

Vince takes an audible breath, runs a hand through his hair, and re-ties the bun at the base of his skull. His big arm comes around me, and he gives my hip a gentle squeeze before leaving his hand to rest there. “I have some good news,” he says. “If anyone wants to hear it.”

“I do.” I look up and search his face. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“It wasn’t appropriate to discuss in front of the kids,” he says. “It’s about your father.”

Mom’s head snaps up, her eyes wide in alarm. I reach across the table, rest my hand over hers, and turn back to Vince. “Good news?”

“Well, not for him,” he says with a half-shrug. “He’s dead. So you can stop worrying about him, finding you. You’re all safe.”

Safe? No need to keep watching over our shoulders? No need to ever find a new home? It seems so unreal that the monster we’ve been running from no longer exists. I grip Mom’s hand a little more tightly. “He’s really dead?”

Vince nods. “For a long time now, if my research is accurate — and I like to think it is. I’m kind of a pro when it comes to solving mysteries.” He watches my mother, and she hangs on his every word, as if she can’t believe what she’s hearing either.

I lean back against Vince and blow out a sigh as I shake my head. “A long time? How long? Years? Have we been safe for years? How many times have we moved, to stay undetected? He hasn’t been chasing us?”

“Oh, he definitely was when he was alive.” Vince takes another sip of his tea. “After I saw y’all react to my job like he’d set me on you, I looked into it, so I could make sure you were safe. He’s been gone about a decade, and you’re moving around doesn’t matter so much, if you think about where all that running brought you.” He gestures at the house and out the window. “And it may be of some comfort that justice caught up with him in the end. He died younger than most, but if you ask me, he earned that bad karma. Should we talk about other things now? Like how awkward it is for us all to be in the same room together?”

“I… Thank you.” I pull his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles. “I’m not sure you realize how badly we needed to hear that.” I look at Mom, who still seems to be in shock. Does she need more closure? Can’t trust the truth? I turn back to Vince. “How did he die? Do you know?”

“All signs pointed to natural causes.” He sips his tea. “Can I get you anything?” he asks when I shiver. “A sweater? I think I saw a throw on the armchair by the?—”

I stay him with a hand on his arm when he gets up to fetch a blanket for me. “I’m fine, thank you,” I say. “Summer’s finally arrived and it’s perfectly warm. It was a different kind of shiver — the kind that are best shaken off. Perhaps we should change the subject,” I say, looking at Mom, who seems slightly more relaxed now.

It’d be a shame to upset her by asking Vince to stay over. I’m not sure she’d ever be comfortable enough to sleep with a man in the house. It’s taken me years to want to try it. Paul didn’t count, since he was so elderly and frail by the time we moved into the big house to help him.

The awkward silence continues. Mom looks between me and Vince, her thoughts unknown as her expression flits from concern to resignation. “I’m going to bed,” she says, standing. She meets Vince’s gaze. “You are not to stay in the house.”

He nods. “I was going to stay with my friend. Until we’re all comfortable with something more inclusive. I understand the girls will need time to adjust.” He stands too. “All the girls,” he adds, nodding at Mom before turning to me. “I doubt your mother will be able to rest easy with me in the house, so I’ll politely take my leave.”

“But…” I look from him to Mom, and then back to him. My legs want to jog on the spot, and I want to pout worse than Luna does when bath time is over.

“You’re adults.” Mom sighs. “If you insist on rushing into this insane arrangement, then as long as you’re elsewhere, what you do together is up to you. I’ll mind the children,” she says before heading for the door.

I hurry behind her and give her the biggest hug my swollen breasts will allow. She tilts her head to mine and nods. “You mind that man keeps his promises, or I’ll gut him with a rusty axe.”

Vince chuckles behind us, and I kiss Mom’s cheek. “Thanks, Mom.”

She grunts her approval, and then tips her head at my chest. “You may want to lay off the lactation herbs, Frederica. You’re bigger than ever.”

“It’s fine.” I wave her off. “I’ll switch to something different as soon as I’m pregnant, but I don’t want to give up my ability to breastfeed yet.”

“As long as you know what you’re doing,” she says, as she starts to climb the stairs. “Make sure you get enough sleep.”

“I will,” I call after her before snagging Vince’s hand and pulling him out the back door.

By the time I’ve led him to the soft grass under the big tree, out in the field, my dress is in his hand, along with his tiger T-shirt. I spin to face him and unbutton his jeans to free his big cock.

He drops our things, picks me up, and nuzzles his beardy face between my full breasts, breathing me in. He lowers my feet back onto the grass, toes off his boots and strips naked in the moonlight. “I fucking love the country,” he rumbles, sinking to his knees before me. “No neighbors. No bright lights. Night flowers, scenting the air.” He presses his face to my curls and inhales with an appreciative hum, before he spreads my folds and takes a big, swirling lick of me.

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