Page 2 of The Summer Save

Where are you? Our therapy appointment started 10 minutes ago?

Are you on your way?

Please don’t tell me that you forgot.

Are you fucking kidding me? Where the fuck are you?

I am so tired of being the only one who shows up to our relationship. And I mean this both literally and figuratively. You checked out years ago. I’m the one who stayed, and I’m the one who’s put in the work. Today proves that you don’t give a fuck about me. I am not your priority anymore. And I haven’t been for a really long time.

My head slumped forward and landed in my hands. The appointment that I couldn’t remember that she had was therapy. It was our appointment. The standing appointment we had twice a month. How the hell did I forget that?

I was at a loss for what to do. Torn between wanting to run upstairs, grab that suitcase, throw it in my car, and drive as fast as I could to Seaside and knowing that I had responsibilities at summer camp. The puck’s on my stick. It’s time for me to put up or shut up or in this case it’s time for me to show up.

When my phone went unanswered, I immediately sent a message.

I’m leaving for Seaside tomorrow. You ARE my priority. If you don’t feel that way, it’s my fault. I’ll fix this. I promise.

Last night, after finding Annie’s letter on the kitchen counter, I spent three hours rearranging my summer commitments while I waited to hear back from her. But she never called, and my text showed delivered, but she didn’t respond. My coaching staff insisted they didn’t need me on site for any of the summer camp weeks. I told them my goal was still to be there at the end. I called both of my kids and told them their mother and I were spending the summer at Seaside. I called our housekeeper and asked her to please do a deep clean on the house, including removing all of the perishable food from the refrigerator, because I didn’t have time to do it, and I was going to be leaving in the morning. She was familiar with our routine when we closed our primary residence for the summer when I headed to camp and Annie went to Seaside.

Then I called my father and let him know about the change in the plans. I told him that I had promised my wife I would make her first retirement summer one that she would never forget. I actually said those words, and I meant them at the time. Somehow, I got busy, and I didn’t plan anything. My original idea was to choose one of the places on the list that hung on my refrigerator. Years ago, we sat by the fireplace in our living room, jotting down all of the things we wanted to do when we retired and another one with all of the places we wanted to travel. Both lists hung on our refrigerator, and none of them were crossed off.

I put my two suitcases into the trunk of my car before slamming it shut, then I put the small soft-sided cooler on the passenger seat. It contained some drinks and easy-to-eat food to keep me satisfied on my drive to the Oregon coast. I backed the car out of the garage, and just before I hit the button to close the garage door, I put the car in park and ran into the house, grabbing both lists from the refrigerator. It was time for me to make my wife a priority again.

It was still dark when I left our house. The drive was just short of twelve hours without stops, so I needed to get on the road as soon as possible.

I’m leaving now. My plan is to drive straight through other than stops for gas. I’ll tell you if that changes.

Six hours later, I finished my first audiobook as I pulled into the gas station in Redding. After filling the tank and grabbing an energy drink, I tried calling again, but she didn’t answer. When I got her voicemail, I poured my heart into my words. “I’m halfway there. I just got gas in Redding. I brought our retirement lists with me. I think there are a few things on each list we can do this summer, and maybe you can show me your favorite things about Seaside. It’s been far too long since I’ve spent more than a handful of days there. Let’s spend this summer the way we did the first year together—inseparable. I love you. You have always been the most important part of my life. I’m sorry if you don’t feel that way. That’s on me. Let me make it up to you. I’ll see you soon, my love.”

My updates on the journey went unanswered. Anne Marie Kennedy was the second most stubborn person I knew. I held the title in that category, so it didn’t surprise me that she was giving me the silent treatment until I proved I would show up and put in the work. About an hour from Seaside, I spoke my commitment into the universe. “I won’t give up on us. Anne Marie, Annie, my love, my heart, you are now and have always been the most important person in my life. We are worth the fight you’re going to put me through this summer. I’ll do whatever it takes because I’m not leaving Seaside without you by my side.”

To prove to myself I could fully commit to my marriage this summer, I called my secretary and left a detailed voicemail. “Hey, Lauren. I am unavailable for any calls, emails, text messages, or meetings this summer. My brothers and father can step in for me for anything KSG or Youth Foundation-related in my absence. The coaching staff has everything under control for the Caribou and summer camp. The only people who can reach me are my wife and kids. Please forward anything that comes up to the appropriate substitute in my absence. Have a great summer and be sure to take time off.”

When I pulled into the single-wide, three-deep driveway at our summer house, I expected to find Annie’s car, but her usual space was empty. The house was dark, and nothing was on the patio. I unlocked the front door and turned on the light. Sheets covered the furniture. She hadn’t made it to the house yet.

Panic set in. What if I was wrong and her non-response wasn’t because she was waiting for me to show, but because something happened to her? I called her, and again, I got her voicemail. I called PJ, and he picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Dad. What’s up?”

“When did you last hear from your mom? I got to the house and she’s not here.”

“I talked to her at dinner after the team event. Amber would know Mom’s usual summer routine. They normally drive to Seaside together. They always take three or four days to get there. No clue what they do on the way.”

“They do? I didn’t realize that.”

His scoff wasn’t needed, but much like me, PJ didn’t hold anything back. “Every year, Dad. Sorta sad you don’t know that.”

“Yeah, it is. I’ll call Amber. Thanks.” Once I disconnected the call, I immediately hit Amber’s name.

“Hey, Daddy. What’s up?”

“Where do you and your mom go on your drive to Seaside? She left yesterday and isn’t here. I just got to the house.”

“Well, like she said last night at dinner, she and Meredith were meeting in Ashland. They have hotel reservations for three nights. They’re seeing four shows. It’s their responsibility-free time. Turning off their phones and enjoying their time. If we need them, we can call the hotel in an emergency.”

“She told us that?”

“Yeah, Dad. She did. She wanted to be sure you, me, and PJ could reach her.”

My fingers scraped against my scalp. I didn’t remember that conversation at all. “So I have a few days to myself here?”

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