Page 10 of Not Dating Material

She snorts. “I don’t recommend that.”

“There’s no way he’s going to think I lawyered up for this.”

“You sure? People are pretty stupid.”

“Okay, but why the wig?”

She pats it gently. “Men trust women with hair.”

I laugh and direct her to the U-District because, hey, she’s on a roll, and if she can get these photos gone, I’m not about to fight her on it. I had a boring afternoon ahead of me anyway, so at least this will give it some spice.

“How did you get out of the handcuffs anyway?” Elle asks as she drives.

I’m hit with a flash of Molly’s bare stomach. “New roommate was home.”

“Shit, that was lucky.”

“Sure. Lucky.”

Her face falls, clearly misinterpreting my reply. “Obviously it would have been better that none of it happened in the first place. I’m only saying—”

“It’s fine.” Not only do I have to remember lying there helpless, I’ve been having inappropriate thoughts about my roommate ever since.

When we pull up to Eddie’s apartment block, his car is sitting on the street. “Looks like he’s home.”

“Excellent.” She jumps out of her Audi, straightens her suit jacket, and waves at me to lead the way. Out of all my nightmares, this sits high on my absolutely trucking not list. Facing an ex-hookup with a grudge. Yet I walk ahead anyway, almost curious to see where this goes and trying not to feel sick over the whole situation.

Eddie’s barely opened his door, all floppy hair and curious eyes, when Elle absolutely steamrolls him.

“I hear you’ve received illicit images of my client.”

“I … I …”

“How long has it been since they were sent to you?”

“They … what …” He turns to me. “Seven? What’s going on?”

“You sent your friend to hit on me and then take revenge pictures.”

He pales so fast it’s almost comical. “Oh, fuck.”

“What do you plan on doing with these images?” Elle asks.

“N-nothing. I swear it.” He turns his panicked expression from her to me again. “I swear it, Seven. I haven’t sent them to anyone.”

“But you admit to having them,” Elle pushes.

He mouths wordlessly for a second. “Uh … Well, I …”

“Are you aware that the distribution of nonconsensual pornography is a federal offense?”

“I didn’t distribute them.”

“But your friend did, under your advisement. This doesn’t look good for you.”

Eddie can’t answer. He’s panting like he’s about to hyperventilate.

I step forward before Elle can freak him out more. “I just want the pictures gone.”

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