Page 111 of Not Dating Material

“I don’t want to send it,” I whisper.

Seven stares at me, holding my eyes with ones full of regret. His bottom lip shakes as he steps forward, wraps his hand around mine, and presses Send for me. “There. Now you don’t have to.”

“Why are you doing this?”

He swallows, eyes dropping to the floor. “Because I want you to be happy. So, I’m doing that in the only way I know how.”

Chapter 31

SEVEN

The second Molly walks out my door, I want to call him back. Tell him I was wrong. Beg him to understand that my head and my heart and my mouth don’t all work on the same wavelength, as much as I might want them to.

Even while I was pushing him away, my heart was yelling at me to shut my trap, but the words—the wrong words—kept coming.

Which goes to prove that it was probably the right choice.

Molly needs a man who can communicate like an actual human, not a grumpy shirt head whose only skill is burying bad memories and pushing people away. At the end of the day, my choice might hurt right now, but it’ll be better for us both in the long run.

For Molly, it means not being dragged down by me.

For me, it means not having to face the moment he’s sick of me and leaves too.

Because that would goddamn kill me.

Money is the thing that gets me to work, but while I’m there and do my job, I’m not present. I don’t talk to people, don’t joke or try to set my clients at ease. I’m just there.

The only reason I know I haven’t shut down completely is the intense pain burning in my chest, building a lump in my throat. I swallow it down, I ignore the ache, I try to go numb, but nothing works.

I just hurt.

All day at work, I’m wishing I could be home, buried in bed, but when I finally get there, I wish I could go right back to work again. My sheets smell like him.

How was it only last night that we shared a bed?

Only this morning since he made me feel incredible? Since I held him close and got hit by the hard truth of how much I’m starting to fall for him.

Instead of stripping my bed like I should, I roll onto my front and hug my pillow in tight. Inhale his scent and die all over again that it’s not him I’m holding.

He wants me, and I hate that I hurt him, but the only thing keeping me going is knowing that I’m hurting worse than he is.

The light knock at my door has my heart driving into my mouth. If it’s Molly, I don’t think I’ll survive seeing him right now, and Xander would have just walked in without knocking.

I feel sick as I call out for them to come in.

I really should have guessed.

“Hey, Aggy.”

“Hello, sweet boy.” She steps inside and closes the door behind her, then stands there, leaning heavily on her cane and watching me.

“If you’re here for a free porn show, you’re a few hours early.”

That gets a shadow of a smile before it dies again. “I saw him crying earlier.”

I flinch like she’s slapped me, but I won’t acknowledge that I know who she’s talking about. “Who?”

“Don’t insult my intelligence. You know who. But I don’t want to talk about him. I want to talk to you.”

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