Page 115 of Not Dating Material

No dates, no laughter, no flirting and teasing.

No phone full of messages.

I miss every one.

Xander flings the blanket off me.

“Urg, what are you doing?”

“Trying to find where the animal died in here because there’s no way that smell could be coming from you.”

“Kick rocks. I showered this morning.”

“Oh. Okay. We’re not at that level of heartbreak yet.”

“I’m not heartbroken.” My voice is muffled by the pillow, but he hears me anyway.

“And I’m not an attention whore. This lying game is fun.”

I turn and glare at him. “What do you want?”

“For you to pull your head out of your ass.”

“Can’t. It’s stuck.”

“Then let me give you a hand: Molly is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you, and if you don’t fix this, I won’t even have to gut you, know why?”

“Nope, and I don’t care.” That doesn’t deter him.

“Because living your whole life knowing you could have been with him would be punishment enough.”

“Your face is punishment enough,” I mutter.

“Aww, there’s my baby.”

I grunt and fall back on the bed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t?”

“How I feel.”

Xander gasps. “Oh my god, you do have feelings for him!”

I eye him, trying to work out if he’s serious. And I think … he is. “You really came in with that whole speech when you didn’t actually know if I was upset over Molly or not?”

“I was pretty sure, but, well, you’re you. You like to pretend you don’t have feelings, so when you let them show, it’s like seeing a unicorn walking down the street.”

“A unicorn? You couldn’t think of anything else?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, a ferocious fire-breathing dragon, then. Happy?”

“Much.”

“Great, now can we get back to the way you’re in love with Molly and you’re letting him go out with some other guy?”

“Nope.”

Xander throws his hands up. “You’re impossible.”

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