Page 116 of Not Dating Material

“And you’re still in my room.”

“I love him, Seven.”

I huff. “Yeah, well, I love him more.” And I fudging do. Bone-deep. This stupid, desperate, useless emotion won’t let me out of its grip.

Xander bursts into tears, and that’s the thing to break through my funk.

“Whoa, dude, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” He flings his arms around my neck. “We’re fucked-up, Seven. And it’s not fair. Why did it happen to us? Why did we have to go through all that? It’s not fair that you can’t be happy and love Molly and let him love you. And if you can’t make a relationship work, then there’s no hope for me.”

“Z, of course there is …”

He shakes his head and releases me. “No. You’re perfect. And if someone like Molly can’t even make you see that, then how the hell do I have a chance of settling down? How do I get past all my shit and find my person?”

Whether Xander’s doing it on purpose or not, he’s getting to me. Digging into those feelings and making them raw. “This has nothing to do with you. You’re incredible.”

“So are you.”

“Yeah, but … Molly is … he’s … incredibler.”

“Not a word. Also, not an excuse. Does he not like you back? Is that what this is? Because he’s also walking around like a hot mess, so I call bullshit, but if he said that to you—”

“He didn’t. He told me how he felt and, uh, gave me a chance. Said he was done chasing, and I could either tell him how I feel or let him go.”

“And you let him go?” Xander’s voice gets all high-pitched, and he hits me with my pillow. “After all that? After the poor ray of sunshine, the poor dewdrop poured his heart out to you like that, and you just were all ‘kthanksbye.’ What is wrong with you?”

“As we’ve already established, so many things.”

“No. You’re not using your trauma to get away with it this time, mister. He likes you. You like him. Don’t you think he’s worth at least trying to see if you can behave like a normal, functioning adult?”

“Well, obviously, but—”

“And don’t you think he deserves to have someone fight for him for once?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“And don’t you want to be that person?”

I pin Xander with my glare. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Trying to be logical. It’s not that simple. You know that. I’m messed up, and we work because we’ve both been through hell, but Molly hasn’t. How long until he gets sick of my attitude? How long before he decides I’m too much work? Guys like Molly and guys like me don’t belong together. And just because we want it to happen doesn’t mean it will.”

Xander huffs. “I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else does.”

“Just let it go.”

Almost as soon as I say the words, the front door slams, and Xander jumps up to run over to the window. His jaw drops.

“The guy drives a Bentley. Are you happy now?”

“There you go. Perfect for Molly.”

“Except for one thing.”

“What?”

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