Page 117 of Not Dating Material

“Molly doesn’t want him.”

I shrug. “He will soon enough.”

“Get over yourself.”

“You get over yourself. Stop trying to guilt me into this.”

“I’m trying to make you see how galactically stupid this whole thing is. Molly doesn’t want to fall for that guy. He wants to fall for you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t take him long.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Because he’ll hurt me!” I finally explode. “Molly can go out there and be happy and loved by just about anyone. But he’s it for me. He’s my only shot. And I can’t start something with him knowing that it’s going to end because it hurts enough right now. I don’t want to know what it’ll feel like once I get that taste of actual real happiness and then it’s taken away again.”

“Why would it be taken away?”

I sigh, sagging in on myself. “Because it always is.”

“Seven …”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sad and depressing and stupid. I get it.”

“Here I was thinking you were doing the whole it’s what’s best for him romance line, but you were actually looking out for yourself. I’m impressed. Look at you and all this selfish personal growth.”

Unsurprisingly, none of that makes me feel better.

He sniffs. “Well, at least you’ve successfully stopped yourself from getting hurt. You can sit here happily, knowing Molly’s out there fluttering his eyes at some other guy. Laughing at some other guy’s jokes. Hmm … I wonder if they’ll come back here to fuck or go back to his house? He drives a Bentley, so probably his. I bet it’s big too. The house as well.”

I snort. “Molly doesn’t put out on first dates.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Xander picks at his thumbnail polish. “But now I think of it … if that’s the case, why did I just have this same conversation with him while he was shaving his balls? Huh. Maybe it’s a comfort thing?”

It’s like the whole last week funnels down into this moment. “He what?”

“Oh yeah, we had a great talk.”

“Molly was manscaping?” My words are weak, strangled. All the indecision, all the awkwardness, all the moments where I wanted to say something to him this week and couldn’t force myself … all for nothing. Because Molly doesn’t just sleep with anyone. So if he was getting himself ready, that means he really meant what he said. He’s giving this guy a real chance. For the first time, it truly hits me that I could lose him for good … and that’s the complete opposite of what I want.

“Manscaping.” Xander snaps his fingers. “That’s what it’s called. I couldn’t remember.”

“He’s going to fuck this guy.”

“I would if I was him. He’s hot, and he drives a Bentley. Keep up, Seven.”

“Shut up, Xander. Can’t you tell I’m freaking out?”

“You’re freaking out?”

“Molly’s going to sleep with this guy.”

Xander blinks at me. “Sorry, but … what did you think he was going to do? Be celibate for the rest of his life? Speaking as a virgin, that doesn’t sound like happy fun times for him.”

My gut twists, all hot and unsettled, and I try not to rattle out of my skin. Molly dating this guy is bad enough, but him flushed and sweaty, begging with need, all for someone else? That pretty mouth wrapped around another guy’s dick?

I think of the messages and the cooking and the puzzles and him cuddling into my lap when things got too much for me. Am I really going to let someone else have all that when Molly was willingly offering it to me?

I grit my teeth, possessiveness boiling through my veins.

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