Page 43 of Not Dating Material

“You haven’t ruined anything.” There’d have to be something there to ruin, which there isn’t. We’re barely friends, and sure, Molly’s cute, and thinking of that naked, lean body following my every order in the bedroom is a total turn-on, but there’s nothing else there. A bit of physical attraction, a baby friendship, that’s it.

Xander still is, and always will be, more important than any of that.

He gives a disinterested hum, which is his way of calling bullshit without having to say the word.

“I’m serious.” I can’t help my frustration this time. “Stop being so hard on yourself. I don’t care. All I care about is that you’re okay.”

“I’m never okay.”

“Physically.”

“Oh, well, that makes such a difference.”

I can’t talk to him like this. I press my fist into my eye socket, not wanting to draw him into an argument. “I’m going to call my boss and tell him I need to cancel my appointments this afternoon. I’ve got a few free hours now, and then I’ll be here late, so—”

“Don’t bother.”

“I didn’t ask your permission.”

He snorts. “Then do what you like, but my door is locked, and I won’t be unlocking it until nine when you finish work.”

“Would you be reasonable for one second?”

“Oh, please. I don’t need you doing your pappa bear thing. So don’t. I’m not being the reason you leave work and lose a day’s pay.”

“I don’t care about the money.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

“This again? Really?”

“If you cared about something other than me once in a while, your life wouldn’t be so fucked-up.”

I let out a frustrated laugh. “You’re so lucky I don’t curse because there are a lot of names I want to call you right now.”

“Bet none of them are anything I haven’t already called myself.”

“I like my life. If you’re judging me for it, that’s a you problem.”

“How can you not judge you? You’re basically a wet nurse looking after the little baby who can’t look after himself.”

Ooh, yeah. He’s so lucky I don’t swear. “You look after yourself every day. What are you even talking about?”

“The big baby who needs Seven or Derek or Molly to make it through the day. Derek was right. I shouldn’t be putting all this on you.”

“He said that?” My molars almost snap. I’m ready to hang up on Xander and call through to the pharmacy to give that guy a talking-to when Xander lets out a hollow laugh.

“He told Molly I should have more than just you to depend on, but I knew what he was saying. You need a life.”

Okay, that sounds more like it. Derek genuinely cares about Xander. He’s always there when we need him and doesn’t hesitate to drop everything in order to help. He’s never made us feel like an inconvenience; he’s never made Xander feel bad or belittled. Him wanting more people to help Xander sounds right in character.

And so does Xander willfully misinterpreting him.

“Here’s an idea,” I snap. “Maybe if you stop acting like such a big baby, you’ll stop feeling that way.”

“See? Even you’re bored with me.”

“This attitude, I am. But we’re stuck with each other, so if you won’t stop sulking for yourself, why don’t you do it for me?”

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