Page 44 of Not Dating Material

“That’s not fair.”

“Sue me.”

I don’t even feel guilty for exploiting his weak spot. I’ll do anything for him, but that feeling goes both ways.

“You know, you’re a real dick sometimes,” he sneers, more life coming back into his voice.

“I’m sorry, were you somehow unaware of that?” I’d never get frustrated with him over his attacks because that’s not something he can help. This attitude is though, and using his attacks as an excuse to lash out at people doesn’t fly with me. I’ll call him out on that all day long. The thing is, Xander’s safe with me. He knows that no matter what, I’m here. He can treat me like a dog turd, and I’ll still be there, and the thing about Xander is that when he gets shirty, he has no limits. There’s nothing he won’t say to make someone hurt, and given what we’ve both been through, I don’t blame him.

My coping mechanism is to make my trauma into a joke.

Xander’s is to turn his into a shield.

His voice is softer when he speaks again. “I’m serious. Nine o’clock.”

“Fine. But I’ll be home to the minute.”

We hang up, and this feeling of being out of control claws over me. I hate not being able to leave. I know I can’t fix things, I know that’s not my job, but I can be there, physically, so he knows he’s supported, even when he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

It’s the one thing I can do, so the fact he won’t let me is making me restless. I pace around the shop, Tia and Ross both throwing me filthy looks while they’re trying to work.

I could go home anyway and check in on Molly. But I’m a frog’s belly coward because I’m scared to face him. I will, but if I wait until later, until after I’ve spoken to Z, I’ll know exactly what happened and how he handled it, and if Molly’s the one who needs a little extra support, I’ll be able to give it.

The last thing I want is to head home, ask him how he feels, and then be all, “Hold that thought for another eight hours.”

I pick up my phone and text him a quick thank you and smile as I see the Sevipus he sent this morning. It’s so damn cool. He even got my tattoos right.

I narrow my eyes as an idea takes hold.

I think I’ve found a way to kill the next few hours.

Chapter 12

MOLLY

I’m sitting on the back step, staring at the Japanese maple in the dark yard, when I hear him come outside.

I’ve been waiting. Seven got home an hour ago and went straight to check on Xander, who hasn’t left his room since we got home. I’m still not sure what to think about this morning, and I’ve been so distracted all day that I haven’t gotten anything done. The frustration is eating at me, but I feel like I need to talk to Seven before I can move on from it all. Maybe I should have told him to come home. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to handle all that myself.

“Hey.” His deep voice already feels familiar.

“Hi.”

“Big day.” He drops down beside me, smile flashing white teeth in the dark. “How are you holding up?”

While I knew he was going to come down here eventually, that question catches me off guard. I’d thought for sure he would have started making excuses for Xander and trying to explain, but when I meet his eyes, there’s genuine concern there.

“I’m …” I stop myself from saying “good” because I’m actually not at all sure how I am. “Frazzled” is what I land on.

“Understandable.”

“Is it?”

“Of course. I’ve had years to learn what Xander needs and how to help him. That all just kind of fell into your lap. So, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Technically, what happened isn’t anyone’s fault, but I could have prepared you better.”

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