Page 91 of Not Dating Material

“You’re such a liar.” He drapes himself over my lap. “Why don’t you love me? Why won’t you share all the sordid details with me?”

“Because there were no details. And I thought you didn’t think of Seven that way?”

“It’s complicated. The thought of him fucking you, hot. Like …” He shivers.

“Why do you assume he’d fuck me?”

“Because he’s a strict top.”

Interesting … and a better answer than him stereotyping us.

“But Seven touching me?” Xander continues. “Actually sickening. Like, it makes my skin crawl.”

“You guys hug all the time.”

“Yep, but it really is platonic. He’s my safety. And I know that even when we’re snuggling or whatever that there’s nothing sexual going on in his head, and it’s the same for me.”

“Eh, well, it’s not my business, is it?”

He sits up, pinning me in his stare. “I think it is. I want you to know, and I want you to ask me things if you’re not sure. Or tell me if you ever think I’m overstepping. I won’t let Seven go. I can’t. But I can share. And … I want to share him with you.”

Something about that gets me. Hits me right in the chest. Maybe I should feel threatened by Xander or uncomfortable about him saying that Seven will always be his, but given he feels that strongly and he wants to share his person with me? It’s oddly sweet.

I reach for his hand. “You have a big heart, you know?”

“Nope. This is where we disagree again. I’m actually a bit of a selfish asshole.”

“There’s no way that’s true.”

“I just really like attention. Sometimes I do things I don’t even want to be doing to get it.”

“Unfortunately, I know a little bit about that feeling.”

He gives me a sad smile. “The world is kinda fucked-up, isn’t it?”

“That’s something we can agree on.”

“If it wasn’t, you and Seven would probably be together by now.”

“While you’re sweet, and I love that you’re shipping us, there’s one problem: Seven doesn’t want to be with anyone.”

“But you had sex.”

“Sex doesn’t mean anything.”

His face falls. “It does to me.”

“And that’s okay too,” I hurry to assure him. “But for Seven, it’s just a casual thing. It doesn’t have to have any emotions behind it.”

“I don’t believe it. I bet the emotions are there, but he’s fighting them. It’s what he does.”

As much as I wish I could believe Xander, I’m also not going to get my hopes up. Seven’s been clear with me, and while he’s admitted that he’s not opposed to more sex, that doesn’t mean anything in the scheme of things. I’ve had sex with plenty of guys because I was horny. It doesn’t mean I wanted more.

Even though I usually did.

I think I’m more like Xander. A bit of a romantic, looking for my forever person. Seven is too logical for that.

“Does it mean something to you?” Xander asks.

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