Page 102 of A Stealthy Situation

“Maybe, but I can still read. Write. It might be hard, and I might not like it, but?—”

“At least you can work out change,” I say mockingly.

He flicks my leg. “Shut up. I’m being serious. I feel like shit.”

“Well, you can quit it with that because it’s my turn. Be supportive or something.”

He smiles and bumps me with his shoulder. “I think you’re very brave for doing this.”

While Em is normally the nice one, he’s not usually sweet to me because he knows I’m allergic. He must sense I need it now though. “That’s … thanks. It’s gonna be shit, but?—”

“Wait, you think I’m talking about the test?” He gives a forced laugh. “Benny, that’ll be the easy part. I mean having to tell West, Jas, and Asher.”

“Who says I’m telling them?”

“I fucking won’t be.”

“Just leaving me to it, huh?”

Em cuffs my shoulder. “Like I said, super brave. Well done, you.”

“I already know what they’re going to say.”

“Cheating only cheats yourself?”

I sigh because that’s exactly it. We’re grown adults; they can’t exactly give us a lecture, even though West will probably try. The thing is, they’d be right. Em was right. Cheating was the easy way out, and because that’s the path I chose, I’m fucked now. Look at me.

It’s a decision I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

Em’s always been my crutch. My safety net. I always thought it went both ways, but if he’s right in that he doesn’t struggle as much as he makes out, then I was wrong. It’s been Em looking out for me all this time.

Emmy and Benny.

Benny and Emmy.

Completely identical.

Basically the same person.

The identity I loved for so long has gone sour, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s time Em and I really made moves to figure out who the hell we are.

For real.

I glance over at him, hoping he’s not going to hate me for this. “Will you pick me up after?”

“Obviously.”

“Good. While you wait, there’s something I want you to do for me.”

31

HARRISON

I let Benny know I’m proud of him today, but I hold off my burning urge to text him and check in every few seconds. From what he was told, the initial meeting will have some assessments and a chat with his psych about what he’s experiencing and what it could mean.

I’m desperate to know how it went, but I force myself to focus on my own shit. Organizing a whole-ass charity dinner on top of my regular coursework is a lot to take on, but I’m excited about it. That kind of frenzy building in my gut tells me I’m on the right path with it all.

I’ve found a local conservation group who are interested in what I’m trying to accomplish, and they’ve jumped in to help out with the agreement that the funds I raise will go to them. Claribel is the rep I’ve been talking to, and she’s been a goddamn angel with finding some of these more obscure plants I’m after.

---