Page 84 of A Stealthy Situation

Shit. Distract, distract. “Why do they have to be perfect?”

“Because I want to show people how beautiful plants are. How they thrive with the proper care. If we look after them?—”

I let out a loud snore. “Tell them about the poison.”

The look he gives me is all indulgence. “Not every plant is poisonous.”

“Look, you know I adore you, and Stacy is my most favorite girl ever.” I blow her a kiss. “But I’m sorry, if you want people to care, you have to talk about cool shit.”

His whole face morphs into confusion. “But plants are cool!”

“Yeah, of course they are. I know.” I’m totally fucking lying. “But you have to make them cool for other people.”

“I’m trying.”

“Are you though?” I throw a look at Rich. “Zero shade to Rich, but who hasn’t seen a rose before?”

“Women love roses?”

“No.” I gesture at Stacy. “Women love death. Women want to hear stories about carnivorous plants out for revenge. Ones that slowly strangle the lives from their partners.”

Harrison gives me a blank look. “You really know nothing about plants. Or women.”

“Maybe, but find me a woman who wouldn’t rather learn about how to make poisons for their enemies from plants.”

He grunts and pets Rich. “Women are weird.”

“Hey, you’re the one who’s attracted to them.”

“So, if that’s what women want, what do men want?”

“Sex.”

Harrison’s gaze runs hotly over me. “For you, maybe.”

“Every single, allo man wants sex. It is what it is. Why do you think it’s so well known in advertising that sex sells?” I prod Stacy. “Think you can conduct a pollination porno? That’d get people interested.”

“I don’t think it’d be anywhere near as sexy as you’re imagining.”

“Ah. Damn. Then I’m out of ideas.” Although … “Maybe we do the porno … on top of plants. And you ramble a whole bunch of plant facts while you fuck me. Screw having a charity event—just put it up on OnlyFans and rake in the money. If you dress up as a plant, it’d still be hot as fuck but also weird as hell, which would target two markets. Then I’m sure there’s more weirdos like you with a plant fetish—Ooh! I could dress up as a bee. Your Benny-Bee. Mmm … pollinate me, Harrison.”

He laughs so hard at my ingenious idea that the class on the other side of the greenhouse looks over our way.

“I take it that’s a no, then.”

He’s wheezing. “That’s a please never put that image in my head again. Oh, god. All I can picture is one of those flowers from the Alice in Wonderland cartoon, doing the creepy caterpillar. Fucking hell, Benny-Bee.”

“Ah, but you like the nickname.”

He sighs when he catches his breath. “That was fun, but you actually have given me an idea.”

I light up, but he quickly shakes his head.

“Not porn. No costumes.”

“Then …”

“People want the weird shit. Death and sex and whatever. I know weird shit. Mother nature is full of weird shit.” He starts excitedly tapping away on his laptop. “Look at this.”

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