Page 18 of Pretty Threats

“Yes.”

“Would you have?”

“No.”

No. For some reason that makes a small slice in my heart. He rescued me once. Of course, that was a different time. Back before he knew I would eventually completely reject him.

Killian releases his hold on the chain and rolls onto his back. I pull some slack to my side so my outstretched arm can lay on the bed.

Closing my eyes, I try to relax my tense muscles. Concentrating on Killian’s even breathing helps. Nothing will happen for a few hours. There’s no point freaking out now. Screams for help wouldn’t be heard… except by them.

Killian once told me if I was ever grabbed or kidnapped, and there was no way to get help or get away, I should stay calm and quiet since screaming could trigger the aggressor into an unplanned killing… just to make the noise stop.

While I understood the theory, it took some unfortunate practice for me to be able to follow those instructions.

That thought takes me back to the first thing that happened to change my whole world view.

Alicia Zenker was the most popular girl in school. She looked like a Barbie doll and dressed like one, too. After Killian sat with me and my outsider friends at lunch, she took an interest in me. It made me happy. I had this crazy idea that I could bridge the gap between the cliques. That we would all become friends. The theatre kids would go to football games and cheer competitions. The jocks would come to our plays.

Alicia invited me to stay over at her place. I was excited because a sleepover at Alicia’s was the most coveted invitation for a St. Seb’s underclassmen and not just because she was popular. It was like going to a spa. There was an incredible dinner, a soak in the hot tub, skin treatments with expensive products and a gift bag. Inside the bag, there would be a little bottle of her signature scent, a friendship bracelet, and a designer handbag she thought would suit the friend receiving the bag. It was incredible.

What I remember from that evening is that her bedroom had a pink crystal chandelier, and my gold gift bag sat on the day bed, waiting for me. Then, I remember fragments of her dad coming in to talk to us and that he joined us in the hot tub. The bitter aftertaste of the mango “health smoothie” is vague.

There’s an image of her dad standing in the bedroom doorway that I see a lot… when his questions turned personal and creepy. I don’t remember exactly what he said.

Alicia fell asleep on top of her bed, leaving me alone with him. My sharpest memory is that I had a sick feeling in my stomach that I was in trouble.

My next memory is being scraped by the bushes beneath the bathroom window as I fell through them. And then nothing until I woke up the next day.

The rest I’ve had to piece together. My phone showed I had texted Killian. He hadn’t wanted me to go to Alicia’s because he never wanted me to go anywhere. He didn’t answer the first text I sent that said I thought something was wrong. That I didn’t feel right after drinking a smoothie shake.

I don’t know if he was still mad I’d gone out and just thought my text meant I had an upset stomach, but he didn’t answer. I sent a text to my dad’s phone, too. All it said was please come get me. My dad wouldn’t see that until the morning. My last text was to Killian and it said, im scared hes gonna hurt me trying to get out window please help please come.

Killian did come.

The rest of what I know has come from coaxing Killian to tell me things.

When he arrived, he found me unconscious behind the hedges. Alicia’s dad was searching for me, too. When his flashlight landed on Killian, he ordered him to leave the property. I don’t know what Killian said or did in response. I only know Alicia’s dad went in the house, and Killian carried me to his car and drove away with me.

Killian should’ve taken me to the hospital. Anyone would have. To get my stomach pumped and to get my blood tested as evidence. Instead, he put me in my bed and watched me all night to be sure I didn’t stop breathing.

When I woke, I was so relieved and grateful I would’ve done anything he said. When he told me not to tell anyone, I tried to convince him I should or it might happen to other girls who went to that house. He said he needed a chance to find something out. I stayed quiet, waiting.

I thought he must be planning to ask the girls in his circle questions about nights spent at Alicia’s. To see if any of them had had similar experiences or had been sexually assaulted. Maybe Killian did ask them questions. I don’t know because then Mr. Zenker disappeared and the focus shifted.

After some bouts of anxiety, everything went back to normal for me. I stayed on my side of the cafeteria with the theater people. Alicia stayed with her friends, never speaking to me again. In the halls, she looked right through me.

Her dad had been missing for four months when his body washed ashore. No one could tell how he died because his body had been in the water too long.

Deep down, I knew.

By then, my dad had noticed Killian showed signs of being a sociopath. Dad asked me not to play video games in the basement with Killian alone. He warned me to stay as far away from him as possible.

I didn’t follow Dad’s advice. At least not then.

Instead, I asked Killian if he knew how Alicia’s dad ended up in the river. Killian was so calm as he looked me in the eyes and said no. He’s a really good liar.

For a little while, I let myself believe him.

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