Page 143 of Cruel Pleasures
Imani falls into disappointed silence for a second, then seems to force herself to change subjects. “So much still remains unexplained. The murders of Talia and Mercer. The minotaur man I saw in the maze. All my sightings of Lyra…”
“It’s over. The best thing you can do is move on. Focus on our future.”
Her brows knit close and she hums in answer.
“Still having doubts, minx?”
Confusion flickers in the darkest part of her brown eyes. “Doubts about what?”
“All the things we’ve done together. If they’re not proof of how you belong to me?—”
“Archer,” she murmurs, breaking eye contact. “I don’t know how to be what you think I am.”
“I want you to be the woman you are. I want you to finally let her out. All of her. Every fucking part of yourself you hide away. No matter how twisted. No matter how sick or fucked up. Because I can promise you, I’m just as sick. Just as fucking fucked up and I’m ready to not be alone anymore.” My fingers trail along her chin to the swell of her cheek, marveling at how such a delicate-feeling creature could be so unbreakable at the same time. “All you have to do is give in, minx. Give in to what you really want.”
“You?”
“Who else?”
She frowns. “Ryu?—”
“Forget Ryu. This is about us. You and me.”
When she looks back up at me, I can see it—the doubt or hesitation that’s lingering. Some kind of block that’s still in the way. For some unknown reason, she won’t let herself let go.
“I need a shower.”
She sneaks out from under me, where I’ve trapped her by the hydrangeas, and then quickly disappears inside.
I sigh, aware of the dark irony of the moment. The bitter truth in what Mother told me about who I am and the curse I bear as her son.
Of course it’s turned out this way. Anything meaningful eluding me. Any connection, anything real, just out of reach.
My life wouldn’t be any other way.
36. Ryu
Us - Tiny Deaths
The three of us sit down to a tense breakfast. The dining table feels more like it’s a mile long than the length it actually is. Each on a different side, no one utters a word. I’ve taken it upon myself to prepare the quick meal.
Eggs. Toast. Coffee. Whatever fruit that was easily accessible in the manor’s kitchen.
With all the staff either gone or dead, no one else was around to do it. I’d woken up to Imani crawling out of bed in search of Hurst. They spent most of the morning together, digging a grave for his mother.
Neither were aware how I lurked in the background. I watched them together and bit back the green envy that swelled inside me. The closeness that seemed to exist between them even if they didn’t realize it. Intimacy that I hadn’t ever experienced with Imani.
The morning after I had finally given in enough to break my vow and have her.
…share her with Hurst.
The three of us had been caught up in the moment. After the events of last night, we weren’t thinking straight. We were the sole survivors of an ordeal that would permanently psychologically damage most people.
It had different effects on us. Three individuals already deeply psychologically damaged.
I became human again in a way I said I never would. I had promised on Asami’s grave to never let myself experience that level of pleasure. For the rest of my life, I was to shut out any potential human connections. Any chance at contentment with a woman.
No other woman could replace Asami. No other bond could compare to what I had with her.
