Page 157 of Kings Fear No One
A lecture telling me how sinful I’m living married to a biker. A plea begging me to come home with family who loves me. Scripture she’ll quote that’s both a plea and a lecture rolled into one. The options are limitless when Mama normally makes it her business to treat me like an unruly child.
“Your father told me the news. You’re not coming home.”
I wait a second, deciding on a tone. I go with calm and casual. “It wasn’t a decision I made lightly. But it’s what I believe is right for me.”
“You said you wanted to come home. Your father was going to pick you up from the bus station. Grandma Renae made your favorite—brisket and baked mac and cheese. I prepped your bedroom.”
Bits of guilt niggle away at me. I let out a tiny sigh. “Mama, can’t you try to understand? I’m a grown woman now. A married woman now.”
“Married?” she scoffs. “You mean to that… that biker man? The one with all the tattoos who’s got a record—and don’t tell me he doesn’t, because I had the local sheriff look him up in the system. He was arrested twice when he was younger. Once for disorderly conduct in public and another for an illegal firearm possession. That’s who you’re married to?!”
“Look, I get Logan isn’t the kind of guy you envisioned me with. But he’s a good man, Mama. I swear he is. Don’t you trust my judgment?”
“Before this nightmare of a situation, I would’ve said yes. Because I knew my daughter had more common sense than this,” she says. “It seems I was wrong.”
“Ever think you’re the problem?” I snap, out of patience.
“Teysha Patrice Baxter?—”
“It’s Cutler,” I interject sharply. “Mrs. Cutler. Mama, I love you. I love all of you. You have no idea how much I missed you when I was held captive—how many nights I sobbed myself to sleep just wishing I could see you all one more time. But I’ve got to move on. I’ve got to start my own life, and I want to do that with Logan. We really love each other.”
“You were forced to marry him!”
“So what?” My voice pitches higher from the rush of emotion. My skin’s heated up and I’ve started pacing up and down the sidewalk outside the bridal shop. “Yes, we had an ugly beginning. One of the ugliest beginnings a relationship can have. But through those dark and terrible times, we came to care for each other. We grew together and found a love that’s beautiful. That makes me so happy. Don’t you want that for me? Don’t you want me happy?”
I’m practically on the verge of tears by the time I’m done. My pulse pounds in my veins, like I’m engaged in a high pressure situation.
And I suppose I am.
Telling Mama my final decision is basically cutting the cord. It’s setting the tone for my future no matter what she says.
She’s quiet for seconds to come. Once or twice I catch a sniffle on the other end. She’s sobbing.
“Mama,” I say softly, “I’m not trying to hurt you. But this is what’s best.”
“I just… I worry about you. After everything you’ve been through…”
“And I appreciate that you care. Believe me, I do. Thank you for always being there.”
“Tey Tey, please… take care of yourself. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you.”
“I know, Mama. But just… trust me. You’ll see in time. Maybe we can come for a visit sometime. Maybe you’ll come to love Logan like a son. He’s your family now too. He’s lost his mother. Maybe someday you can be that for him.”
Mama still sounds unsure once we’re hanging up, but I’m at peace with our conversation. It’s as good as it gets for the moment. My hope is that she’ll eventually come around.
But what matters most is that I’m doing what’s best for me.
I’m beginning a new life with a man that’s earned my heart.
Feeling lighter, like a burden’s been lifted off my shoulders, I head back inside the boutique.
We have a wedding to finish prepping for.
39
LOGAN
“Mandy’s dead.”
