Page 42 of Kings Fear No One
And when that goes unanswered:
I hope you’ll be home soon. I’ve missed you. <3
And when that, too, goes unanswered:
Please answer. Will you be home soon??
I set down my phone as I look at the clock on the microwave and my insides knot up at the late hour. The nightly news ends on the local channel and some rerun of an old ’90s sitcom comes on. My lip gloss has long ago faded.
Though I’m seated calmly on the sofa, my hands folded in my lap, I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I’m hanging on by a thread, counting every breath I take. I’m clinging to the thought that Logan will be home any moment and I won’t be alone anymore.
Please… hurry…
The night drags on. At some point, I lay down on the sofa and distract myself with the late-night informercials. I fall asleep gripping the remote and throw blanket like they’re lifelines.
Logan’s key clicking in the lock wakes me up. The door drifts open to make way for Logan to slip inside. He staggers over to the kitchen counter, tossing his wallet and keys. He moves on to the fridge for a can of beer.
I quickly blink away any drowsiness, then leap to my feet. “Where have you been?”
He pops the tab on the beer can and downs a quarter of it. “Why are you still up?”
“I’ve been waiting for you! Did you see my texts?”
“I haven’t checked my phone. There were more important things going on.”
He leaves the kitchen for the hall. I follow a couple steps behind, my temper a thin veil for hurt feelings clenched in my chest. How could he dismiss me like he is?
“Were you out drinking? Out partying at the club? Were there other women there?” I ask, firing off questions. “Why won’t you ever tell me what you’re doing? Why won’t you ever take me with you?”
“Teysha, lower your damn voice.”
“I’ve… I’ve been waiting for you!” I repeat, my throat aching. I rush to block his path by getting ahead of him. “Why won’t you just try?”
Logan’s eyes darken when they meet mine. He bares his teeth, leaning closer to growl at me. “I don’t have time for this shit! Move out of my way.”
I’m moved against my will. Logan grabs me by the upper arm and jerks me to the side. Enough space for him to pass by. I stumble from the forceful tug, almost stepping into the wall. He’s already walking through the bedroom doorway.
“You owe me an explanation!”
“I don’t owe you shit.”
“I’m your wife!”
He barks out a loud, callous laugh. “You ain’t my wife, and I ain’t your husband. Let’s get that straight right now.”
Try as I might to hold it together on the outside, on the inside it’s like I’m breaking apart. My lungs shatter drawing my next breath. Cracks that form before I can stop them. A wounded cry slips out that sounds pitiful even to my ears.
But it’s only a reflection of how I feel. The ache of being unwanted and unloved.
Longing for what we’d had before. Times that were dark but still offered fleeting moments of comfort.
I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hands, rattled to my core. I’m breaking apart before Logan, coming to the realization I’ve been foolish. I’ve thought he’d care. I’ve wondered if he could change his mind and love me…
Irritation and anger greet me instead. His scowl clenches onto his face, no light to be found in his gaze.
I’m wiping away more tears, watching Logan move into the bathroom. He flicks on the bright light and tugs his t-shirt over his head.
