Page 92 of Kings Fear No One
“Look,” he sighs, setting the beer can down and planting his hands flat on the kitchen counter. “Wires got crossed somewhere. You got confused and started thinking things you shouldn’t’ve. It’s best if you go stay somewhere else. Away from me. I’ll call up Mace. He and Syd have that extra room.”
“Oh… okay.”
“It’ll be better this way. Keep things separate. Then when the marriage is dissolved?—”
“I’ll just go home. Back to Boulder.”
“Might not seem like it now, but it’ll be easier on you. Give you time and space to move on.”
I can barely bring myself to nod as he walks out of the kitchen and disappears into his bedroom. Probably to go make the call he’s mentioned. Tell Mason and Sydney all about how I’ve lied and dreamed up some delusion about our marriage.
I almost wish for his anger to return. For him to show some passion. Some feeling. He can’t even bring himself to raise his voice anymore.
It’s truly over between us.
My eyes squeeze shut at the emptiness inside me. The hole that’s so unfulfilled, so profound, it hurts. I brush more beads of sweat from my brow, feeling sick to my stomach, and walk toward the second bedroom where my things are—the duffle bag I’ve often packed and unpacked over the past few weeks. Barely bothering to check what’s inside, I zip it up and hoist it over my shoulder.
The door to Logan’s room is closed. His throaty rasp pierces through the door anyway, traces of a phone conversation reaching me.
I don’t let myself listen in.
Logan was right when he said it’ll be easier if I have time and space. But, for once, I’m going to find my own way.
I’m going to finally accept what I’ve fought against. Everything I’ve ever believed was a lie.
22
LOGAN
Teysha left the apartment before I was even off the phone with Mace. I didn’t have to search far for her whereabouts. The bus terminal in town confirms she came by and bought a ticket to Boulder. She was finally going home.
We’ll have to dissolve the marriage at a distance.
It’s not what I preferred, but considering the mix-up of the last few weeks, I’ll take it.
Teysha got her wires crossed. She let herself believe what was going on between us was real.
We were really married.
She chose to lie when we talked about updates on the annulment. I was furious with her when the clerk told me the truth. I didn’t even want to look at her ’til I calmed down and realized I was at fault too. I had let her believe the things she had.
What else did I expect when I was letting her sleep in my bed every night and having sex with her?
A woman like Teysha was bound to get confused. She thought things meant more than they do.
I care about her… a lot.
I wouldn’t have entertained having her around if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have done half the shit I’ve done if I didn’t care about her.
But she still doesn’t get that I’m not the man for her. The husband she’s searching for is still out there. He’ll give her things I never could.
The kind of happy ending she deserves.
The first night she’s gone, the bed feels strangely… empty. She’s on my mind as I walk out of the bathroom fresh from my hot shower and find the room silent and untouched. Normally, she’d be waiting for me. She’d be perched on the bed reading or watching TV.
If she hadn’t showered with me.
Another routine we had formed over time.
