Page 52 of The Dark Before Light

We say our goodbyes to the table, and Sven escorts us to the waiting limo. We don’t speak as we buckle in. Dylan gives me a questioning look that I return with a glare. Minutes pass. Wrapped in shadows and the background hum of the road, the silence simmers.

I want to thank her for what she did but don’t know how. Not without making her uncomfortable, possibly defensive. She broke her own rule and touched me tonight. And we both know she didn’t do it as my therapist.

Too soon, we enter her neighborhood. Suddenly desperate to hear her voice, I ask her if she’s seen the new article. I immediately want to kick myself, but she merely nods and sighs.

“A friend sent it to me.”

I want to tell her I’m working on a retraction but know she won’t appreciate my meddling. I also don’t want her to feel like she owes me anything.

I clear my throat, feeling awkward as fuck. “Is there anything—that is, are you all right?”

Smooth, Kier.

She studies me, eyes gleaming, passing streetlights flickering across the side of her face. “That’s kind of you to ask, but I’m fine. In fact, I’m kind of glad it happened.”

The limo stops outside her house. Dylan launches off his seat and shoves me aside to exit through my door. I don’t think his elbow to my gut is accidental, the force of it knocking the air from me in an undignified grunt.

“Sorry,” he lies, then slams the door.

I cough. “Fucker.”

“Are you all right?” asks Stirling, her lips fighting a smile.

“I will be when I fire him.”

She laughs softly. “Sure you will.”

I grin at her like an idiot until she blinks and picks up her little purse. My heart leaps as she reaches for the door handle.

“I’m sorry I made you come tonight.”

She hesitates, then shifts to face me. “I’m not. You were right. It’s a worthy cause.”

“Thank you, by the way, for the donation check you snuck off to write.”

Her eyes flare as she realizes how closely I watched her tonight—every damn second except when she was in the bathroom. I would have watched her there, too, if I could have.

Her expression smooths. “Is there anything else, Kieran, or can I go?”

The wry tone makes me want to grin again, but I bite it back. “Yeah, one more thing. You said you were glad about the article. Why?”

I’m breaking the rules. She doesn’t owe me a truth. But she gives it to me anyway.

“It made me realize how important that part of my life was. If I hadn’t walked that path, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m not ashamed of my history with the kink community. I’m proud of it. The fact it’s triggering so many people only highlights the ignorance and shame around the topic.”

She trails off, eyes flickering like she’s surprised she said so much. “Anyway, you could say I’ve been reevaluating my career goals over the last few days.” Her lips twist. “I found myself with some unexpected free time when two clients fired me.”

I wince. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “Like I said, I’m okay with it.”

“You think everything happens for a reason?”

Her eyes find mine and a zing of awareness flashes down my spine. I never want to stop looking at her. For her to stop looking at me.

“Not exactly. But I do think challenges break off pieces of us we don’t need anymore. If we want to, we can use those pieces to lay the groundwork for a new path forward.”

I have a feeling she intends the words to apply to me more than her, but I can’t think past how they relate to her life. When I put two and two together, my stomach bottoms out.

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