Page 83 of The Dark Before Light

“Next time…”

“Mmm, yes?”

“I’m in charge.”

I hang up on his guttural curse.

Chapter 24

Kieran

Stretching out my legs, I cross my ankles and let my head fall back against rough stone. Sven and Dylan are out of sight but nearby. They’ve been on high alert since I told them I gave the go-ahead for preclinical testing. If it were up to them, I’d never breathe fresh air again for my own safety.

“Hey, Gran. It’s been a while.”

Wind whistles through the bare branches of a nearby tree, each gust heavy with impending rain. I run my palm over the cold grass beside me where Talia once sat, sad and angry and vibrating like a hummingbird.

“Thank you for bringing her here that night. Don’t know how you did it, but I’m grateful.” I sigh heavily. “I’m scared, Gran. Not of her—she’s the only thing that makes sense right now—but of something happening to her, to Alistair and Gail or others because of me. Because I can’t let go of the project, of the possibility of saving…” I trail off, my eyes screwing closed.

I can’t save my mother.

It’s too late.

But my heart doesn’t understand the timing.

Leaves crunch under footsteps nearby. I open my eyes expecting Sven, but instead, it’s my father. He was always the biggest man in any room, but these days, he’s a tree permanently reshaped by storm, craggy-faced and whittled down.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

He waves a hand at me and I scoot over so he can sit. For a few minutes, we merely exist side by side, together but alone with our thoughts.

Then he stirs and says, “Your gran was a magical woman, but I don’t think even she’s capable of dispensing advice from beyond the grave.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

He scoffs. “What bothers me is that you think I’d be bothered. Now tell me about the woman.”

My head swivels. “What?”

“You dinna think I’d be able to tell my son was in love? Go on, then. Tell me about her so I can tell Sorcha in the morning. Since you won’t do it yourself.”

I grimace. “I know you think Alistair and I should visit more, but she doesn’t know who we are. You saw yesterday—I only agitate her.”

“Because she can sense you’re upset.”

“She doesn’t know me!” I explode. Sucking in a breath, I rub my face roughly. “Sorry. Fuck.”

“Kier.” His voice is as heavy and full as the clouds overhead. “I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me. I didn’t… I didn’t always understand your pain. I was selfish, hanging onto the fact she still knew who I was. I thought… I had hope.”

Lifting my knees, I hook my arms over them and bow my head. “I tried to fix her. I tried so fucking hard, and I did what I set out to do. But I wasn’t fast enough.”

He stills, and guilt is a thousand spikes piercing my heart.

“You’re ready for the next phase?”

I nod despondently. “Preclinical testing, yes. If all goes well, we could be starting clinical testing and trials within a few years.”

“But she can’t be in them,” he guesses.

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